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Happy Go Stuckey

Tethering Grace & Togetherness

Rainshine. (Why hope & grief are not adversaries.)

June 5, 2017 by HappyGoStuckey 7 Comments

Our Georgia summer is hot and steamy but often includes ample rain storms.
Some days they chase us from the pool with thunder and quilted skies. Other days the clouds pour buckets while the sun shines brightly. Yellow light beams down. Drops Fall.
Sun and Rain. Rain and Sun.
This is my favorite variety of storm; the unexpected.

The air is heavy and humid and standing in the rainshine seems completely ridiculous. But for me, it’s an exercise in remembrance. A happy reminder that the sun and rain don’t always step aside for one another. As if the sun missed the part about the rain’s solo— and refuses to wait in the wings.

I need to be reminded of this very thing the rainshine teaches me. Because there was a time not so long ago, that I realized the truth of the “and.” It was some months after I lost a baby. And then again three years later I lost another. In between the two griefs I became someone with a lap completely full. We danced around filling sippy cups and dodging cheerio landmines and there was nothing lacking from our joy.
Nothing at all.
But. There was a tiny piece of pain. Toddler fingers held out weed bouquets and soothed things I couldn’t touch. Still the ache took time to fade into a soft memory. For a long time there was both laughter, and pangs of remembering.

Do you know how it feels to hold both?
Maybe you are now holding both joy and grief in your two uncertain hands.
Or perhaps you swallow lumps of grief— but joy is still on the way.
We know that they often take up residence on the same block. Pain does not always overshadow joy; neither can joy completely squash pain.

The hope that “it will not always be so” is a great one. But even that bright glittering hope, does not remove the ache.
And we can often forget that joy and grief are not enemies.
We expect that if we are strong enough, Christian enough, brave enough— we can elect to feel only the joy and not the pain.
But the essence of our true hope is not that. It is a both/ and hope.
The joy that hopes in what will be — but feels the sting of what is still on the way.

It is a gift. This joy of the both/and. Both hardness and blessing. Both fear and courage. Both happiness that bubbles over in belly-laughs and sobriety that sees evil. Evil that threatens to choke the hope out of us all.

We may be incandescent in our joy. Light may spill from every corner of our day. Or we may have to stand in the pouring rain to look up and find the light. Rarely is it one or the other.
We know so great a hope in Christ and still we will feel the cares of the world. They wind up around our feet as we walk. They snatch and grab at us, like the Devil’s Snare plant in Harry Potter. Devil’s Snare hated the light too, remember? Keeping pain in dark places of shame feeds it.

Friend, might we walk with one another in this?
When we hide our grief, we buy the lie that pain is greater than joy.
We cannot expect ourselves to fully feel one, without some shards of the other.
There is a fulfillment of hope which is still waiting in the wings.

You can grieve. You can grieve right alongside glory.
Acknowledging pain will not remove the joy of what is, and what is to come.
But it has not come fully yet.
And so we wait in the weight of waiting.
And we love greatly and keep our eyes open for hope.
We tip our chins up to the light, even if it means a few raindrops on our cheeks.
We can bravely hold what is too much for us to hold alone.

Because it will not always be both. Someday we will only know the hope that did not disappoint. Not the hope that we got exactly what we wanted; the reality of the hope that was worth waiting well.

The hope that we are promised— we will know He only gave us truth.
And that when we waited, we never waited alone.

What I Learned in the Spring
A Summer of Rhythm & Absence

Comments

  1. 1

    Elaine says

    June 8, 2017 at 3:26 pm

    Beautiful words. Made me think of one of my favorite verses….
    “So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord . His going forth is as certain as the dawn; And He will come to us like the rain, Like the spring rain watering the earth.”
    Hosea 6:3 NASB

    Reply
    • 2

      HappyGoStuckey says

      June 9, 2017 at 9:52 am

      Oh yes friend. Beautiful words.

      Reply
  2. 3

    Denise Sultenfuss says

    June 8, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    I enjoyed this Cynthia. I can relate to the rainshine with my miscarriages. You offered a reminder that sun will shine.

    Reply
    • 4

      HappyGoStuckey says

      June 9, 2017 at 9:53 am

      Thank you Denise! I am so glad it encouraged you.

      Reply
  3. 5

    Robin says

    June 10, 2017 at 4:13 am

    Oh. Yes. I know this rainshine. My lap was full, then I lost #4 early, and came to expect #5 very shortly after that loss. Holding the still-fresh loss with the (now cautiously) joyful expectation was difficult. Thank you for pointing me to the reality that someday it won’t any longer be both.

    Reply
  4. 6

    Lynne Lorentsen says

    June 13, 2017 at 1:28 pm

    Love this! I’m in the still sad but getting to the happy part of launching my littlest (not so little). The truth you speak of is so sewn to every day, I don’t know why it ever takes me by surprise. Thanks for the loving reminder.

    Reply
  5. 7

    Sonya Earnest says

    June 14, 2017 at 11:35 am

    Thank you for this! I lost 2 grandbabies, 1 in July 2015 while very early in the pregnancy & 1 in April 2016, she was 5 months pregnant. I will forever miss them! God is so gracious as we just had our grandchild born last Thursday. Her name is Elizabeth and I can’t tell you how much I love being a Grandma!!

    Reply

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Hey There!

I'm Cynthia and I'm so glad you're here. I am an introvert with an extrovert's love of gathering people together. I love good books and capturing moments. Whether you visit me here or on my own front porch, I'll be the one holding the Iced Coffee for us both.

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happygostuckey

Instagram post 2198196080830984318_396980240 There’s a river in the backyard from all the rain but the coffee is hot and the fire is warm. Just send my mail to Cozy-town.🎄✨🔥
Instagram post 2195899403432542383_396980240 “What was intended to tear you apart, God intends it to set you apart. What has torn you, God makes a thin place to see glory. Whatever happens, whatever unfolds, whatever unravels, you can never be undone... If God can transfigure the greatest evil into the greatest Gift, then He intends to turn whatever you’re experiencing now into a gift.” — @annvoskamp , The Greatest Gift

These @joywares ornaments that correspond with our daily Advent readings are one small way we are daily, simply, remembering to prepare Him room. {today we had to catch up a bit, and I’m sure it will happen again.} ✨
Instagram post 2194813906031245214_396980240 No Sunday Scaries here. ✨🎄❤️
Instagram post 2191701631330368631_396980240 This year, the 🍋lemon tree🌿 gave fewer lemons than normal. I asked my Dad and he confirmed, just a slow year.

So we picked (still armfuls,) and I’ll love every one.
If you read #feastingandforaging (have I mentioned I wrote a book? Gosh, that is never not awkward.😅) If you read it, then you know how special this tree is to me.

Again this year, I’m reminded all over again that our sweetest gifts are sometimes cloaked in harder things. Often our ‘unexpected ugh’ makes way for what we truly need.

And I just want you to know that if this December is already more than you wanted or less than you hoped, if you’re sitting at the end of a very long year— take courage.
Take peace.
Take hope and as you pass around the gift of the Advent to those beside you, don’t forget to also take some for yourself.

Don’t forget to remember that the Hope of this season (and every other,) cannot be squelched by sickness, pain, or the general ugh of life in a broken world.

We have this Hope and it is one that won’t be diminished by anything that could land in our laps today.
#prepareHimroom
Instagram post 2191016735687527448_396980240 Sometimes I think I could live in New York but I’m low-key afraid I might eat bagels every day. 🥯🍎☕️ (TB to October when @friar_stuck and I took our Pio Bagels to @devocionusa and pretended we were regulars.) ✨What city would you love to live in if it didn’t mean leaving where you are?✨
Instagram post 2189510127085979732_396980240 Home sweet merry little home.🎄This December will be busier than most for our family, so I’m treasuring every single slow moment we are gifted. Starting today with homemade lattes and little white lights.✨ #merrymerrystuckeys
Instagram post 2187513959237917323_396980240 We can all agree the point of the charcuterie platter is to get as many family members into one room at once, right? The cheese is just a bonus. {yes, second charcuterie pic this week. Because holidays. And family. And the sweet full feeling that comes not from eating too much pie, but seeing almost all of your entire family in one day.} ❤️🦃 Happy Thanksgiving, dear friends. 
#feastingandforaging #charcuterieboard #f52byyou #allthecheese #gratefulforhome #savourtheseasonalshift #simplethingsmadebeautiful #merrymerrystuckeys #almondavenuecrew
Instagram post 2185903851697559572_396980240 🍁Maybe she’s born with it.
Maybe it’s Maple Leaves.🍁 I know that when the clock strikes midnight on Thursday, everyone switches to Christmas— but I’m probably going to be here with leaf spam for just a bit longer... 😏
Instagram post 2183058239117455684_396980240 ✨In a world where you can be anything, be the one who volunteers to bring charcuterie. ✨
🧀🥖🍇🌿
Bonus points if your flannel shirt- wearing husband can hold said charcuterie while you take a million photos of cheese in the golden hour.

#feastingandforaging #charcuterieboard #thanksgivingdinner #onthetable #f52byyou #foodie #savourtheseasonalshift #simplethingsmadebeautiful #chasethelight #bluehousekitchen #merrymerrystuckeys #gratefuldays #cheeseboard #gratefulforhome #iwentlookingforbeauty #ofsimplethings
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