At my first blogging conference, I walked into a hotel lobby peppered with cute boots. They all belonged to people who seem to already know each other well. I was instantly convinced that every last pair of those boots belonged to a better writer. While weighing the idea to hide in my room and HGTV my way out of awkwardness, I met Amanda. A flight risk like myself, she was also eyeing the exits. We all but bumped into each other and immediately recognized a kindred spirit in the other nervous face. We spent the weekend becoming real life friends and taking silly smile booth photos. Having just one person who knew my name and was actually looking for ME in a sea of people– made all the difference.
Unfortunately, this place where we often hang out– this noisy internet– is the one place where we can get completely lost in a matter of moments, and I’m not even referring to the cat videos.
The internet is bigger than big and full of so many other people doing what seems to be the same thing we are, only maybe they are doing it much better. Just when we might feel like we have our people, when we know who we can count on to read our words or want to hear from us– or just remember us, we get counted out… again.
And then we feel so very small, right? Maybe even invisible. As though what we are doing may not matter to anyone at all and maybe we’re just wasting our time and perhaps we should take up another hobby.
But therein lies the problem. If it is not a hobby, we don’t get really get the option to quit. If this thing is a calling? Then we have been called by Someone else. Someone who knows just how small we are. How small we all are.
Far too often we make this all about us. We worry what our gift looks like when we offer it. We have anxiety over someone else’s victory because it looks like they preempted our own calling by a matter of days.
In short, we act as though there is only enough room for a certain amount of creatives in the world, and the person right in front of us in the queue is holding the very last ticket.
Can we all just agree that there is more than enough to go around? Enough room and sparkling goodness for us all to have a place in this world to do something for Him. Our view that the Church is crowded and that there is not enough room? The idea that we are not capable of bringing so great a sacrifice as our sisters? It’s silly and it’s small and it’s just not true.
He is infinite and there is more than enough space for us to each have a place to shine. The world will not tire of more people walking in their calling any faster than we will stop needing His grace to take every step along that walk.
We were created one by one, intricately carved; not en masse. Our living should be with that in mind, individual and pointed upward, like the shiny upturned face of a child. Do you remember being that small? Do you remember making that beautiful crayon creation and holding it out proudly for someone to love? Well. Whatever it is we are holding out for His glory? He loves it.
Can I just lean in and whisper something right into your uncertain eyes? Whatever you’re doing, He sees you. You aren’t nearly as invisible as you think. And if the whole entire world forgets you and I and we end up on the red-stickered table at the local Goodwill? We can remind each other of this very thing–
“For God is not so unjust as to overlook your work and the love that you showed for His sake in serving the saints, as you still do.” Hebrews 6:10