When I was five years old, my family was invited to pick blueberries at a private farm belonging to a friend of my dad. Apparently, it was a banner year for their blueberries and so we were told to pick as many as we could eat or freeze. They provided us with 10 and 15 gallon buckets and we went to picking. As you can imagine, this was a huge treat as we were a family of 7 and fresh blueberries just were not in the weekly budget. We picked, and picked and picked until we were blue in the face, and fingers I might add. Then the entire family entourage schlepped home to properly deal with this great unexpected blessing. Many of the berries went into the freezer— so many in fact that we had blueberry cobbler, blueberry pie, blueberry pancakes and blueberry muffins for several years. I am not exaggerating. We lived on blueberries. Oh, and deer meat. So in truth, we lived on blueberries and bambi burgers. But that’s a blog post for another day.

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I never got around to posting about our little vacation before I went back to work… Lance calls it “The Magical Mystery Tour” and was it ever! We had a great time with family and friends before our “new normal” began!

There is a small jar of strawberry jam in my refrigerator. This glistening red goodness is perfect and homemade, only it was not made in my home, but in the cozy kitchen of a kindred spirit. We refer to it lovingly as “Sexton- Jam.” Sexton is their last name, you see. We only use it when we have a worthy baked good to top it with. We would not dare put it on something as trivial as PB & J. Bearing in mind that the summer is coming to a close and the strawberry crop has come and gone, this is the last bit of this special jam we will savor this year. And so, we have carefully and conservatively chosen when and on what we would enjoy this lovely jam. Yesterday, I found the jam’s true complement: warm, fresh from the oven Brioche. Brioche is one of those concoctions which I had always wondered about, but never tried to make or even tasted. Brioche. It’s just fun to say, no? Once, I even purchased a pink silicone brioche mold from the Williams-Sonoma semi-annual sale. Not because I love brioche, but because I love pink. The fact that it was a brioche mold was secondary. To date, I have absolutely no idea where this pink pan is. Good thing it was $3.99.

Boeuf Bourguignon.

That is the dish I laboriously prepared for dinner this evening. Carefully selected ingredients. Several hours in the kitchen. Several more hours of waiting with bated breath on my “French Beef Stew” produced a dish so divine, so unequivocal to “American” Beef Stew that I had to laugh at the thought of how I previously made Beef Stew. (My slow-cooker and a McCormick packet.) Although it warmed us from the inside out on many a cold or rainy night, that quasi-beef stew has and will forever pale in comparison to Julia Child’s Boeuf Bourguignon. What prompted me to attempt such a feat? A movie.

Last night, Mr. S and I were blessed to be able to go to the movies while our good friends kept Little Lu. I had been dying to see Julie & Julia, which parallels the life of Julia Child to the year long culinary experiment of Julie Powell. It was a feel-good movie and I laughed out loud several times. I highly recommend it. (And for all you wives, my husband laughed several times as well and really seemed to enjoy it. It’s not very often that there is a movie with certain chick flick qualities that we BOTH enjoy… but, I digress.) At one point in the movie, Julie makes Julia’s Bouef Bourguinon and it looked so absolutely yummy, that I felt the need to return to my culinary fundamentals. I found something very therapeutic in this 3 page recipe from Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking. This being my first weekend as a working mother, I enjoy the irony of cooking a meal that takes 15 steps instead of 3. Let me be very clear, I say this not to boast that I will be cooking every meal from such a book.

Not so much.

I haven’t the time nor the energy to make every dinner a cooking extravaganza– especially not right now. But there is something to be said for taking the time. For example, I have a close friend who very seldom buys any convenience grocery items. She cooks delicious meals from a few simple and tasty ingredients. She has a wonderful talent of stretching a few dollars into a gourmet meal. Sometimes elaborate, sometimes comfort food, but they are always full of love and warmth. She and I have often joked about some of the “convenience items” that are available and what a rip off they can be. For example, tonight I noticed pre-seasoned, cooked taco meat at the grocery store. (Wow. Is it that hard to add taco seasoning to ground beef? Sorry, soapbox.) Never the less, there are many nights during the week when I need to be able to whip up dinner in under 30 minutes…. but sometimes, you just need to remind yourself that you can cook without any convenience foods. You can prepare a meal the “long” way. Today was such a day.

A few minutes into the process of carefully searing the chunks of perfectly marbled meat in my giant Turquoise Le Creuset, I began to appreciate Julia’s gusto for excellent cooking. She did not learn to cook out of necessity but out of a love of food and love for her husband, and in an impossibly tiny kitchen. The last of which concerns me most. Somewhere between slicing perfectly uniform onions and learning a far better way to sautee mushrooms, I found enjoyment in being able to successfully prepare classic cuisine for my husband regardless of how busy life has recently become or how little time I seem to have these days.

My point in writing these ramblings?

1. Everyone should have a creative outlet. No matter how busy they are or how crazy life becomes.

2. Try something challenging once in a while. Even if you fail miserably, you’ll be glad you stretched yourself a bit.

3. Even in a tiny kitchen with 7 square feet of counter space, a 5 inch deep sink, and an oven that is 50 degrees off and with lopsided burners– God provides amazing blessings of encouragment. Though I do not look forward to another 5 days away from my little girl, we have all three had a wonderful weekend together and I personally, feel energized and refreshed.

P.S. Our dinner took so long, we ate at 9pm. Ha! It was worth it though!

Have you every realized how many types of “sighing” there are?

I have.

I find myself sighing a lot these days.

6am- Alarm goes off. Breathe a prayer that the Lord will sustain me for today. “Only today.” Deep breath as feet hit the floor which ends with hopeful sigh that today will be a bit easier.

6:30am- Disappointed sigh that pre-preg work clothes still don’t fit properly. Ha.

7:00am- Happy sigh at the lovely sounds of baby girl waking up. Make mind up to soak up every second of the next hour with her.

7:03am- Sigh of Laughter as she lights up when she sees me.

7:05am- Euphoria. Pure euphoria as she is on my shoulder. We both sigh happily.

7:15 am- Praying again for the Lord’s strength and grace. Deep Breath of peace.

7:45am- Where did the last 40 minutes go? Time to leave for the day. Sigh. Happily kiss husband and daughter. They’re both smiling.

7:47am- Say ‘goodbye’ again. Sigh. Try to leave. Unsuccessfully.

7:50am- Realize I’m going to be late. Sigh of exasperation with myself. Look back at them one last time— Sigh. Blow a kiss and leave.

8:00am-ish- Sit down at computer. clock in. open email. Sigh of Resolution to give it my best effort, happily with a grateful spirit. Sigh of Disappointment with myself that I’m not more patient.

5:00pm- on the dot. Time to go see my family. Sigh of relief.

5:10pm- Walk through the door. Breathe a second sigh of relief and smile as they both smile back. Kiss that handsome man and breathe in the sweet smell of the little baby’s head. SIGH. Life is good.

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On the job front, we have had a few “nibbles” you could say. One particularly encouraging “conversation” that will hopefully turn into more… we shall see what our God has in store. More on that when I feel at liberty to share.

In the mean time, know that we are still alive and doing well. Needing to stay encouraged these days. Finding it hard to focus on today and not look ahead with anxious expectation.

“Are there any among the false gods of the nations that can bring rain?
Or can the heavens give showers?
Are you not He, O Lord our God?
We set our hope on you, for you do all these things.” –Jer. 14:22

Where is the time going?

Yes, I realize it’s filled with diapers and feedings and laundry and diapers and feedings and cuddling and hugging and consoling and playing and diapers and more feedings and kisses and little baby coos and sounds and bright, melt-your-heart smiles. But seriously, where is the time going? I feel like the daily calendar pages are flying off at warp speed– forcing me to face the facts. I only have a few more weeks at home. August 3rd, that’s the day. Now, before I get all weepy and force you to either feel sorry for me or wish I would toughen up a bit, let me say that I have known this was coming and I am as okay with it as I can be expected to be. God gives grace and strength one day at a time. He has and He will.

Many of you that have been alongside us during this journey are aware that we have been praying and searching and waiting on the Lord’s timing concerning a job for Lance. We have always held firm to the knowledge that God will provide. God will provide. That’s what we told ourselves and told others when questioned. Well, it came to our realization a couple of months before Lu was born, that for the time being, He HAD provided (for the time being.) I have a wonderful job at SEBTS with amazing insurance, a great boss, and some of the best co-workers ever. When we realized the time was approaching to make a decision about our immediate future, Lance and I decided it was best for me to continue to work for a while until He is able to find a position. This was a terribly difficult decision for both of us. He and I would both love for me to be the one at home with Lucy– and hopefully, that will happen someday soon. But until then, this is where we are. I would appreciate your prayers for me as I go back to work soon and for Lance as he stays home to take care of our precious girl. We’ll make it and we will all be just fine.

Okay, now that I have all that stiff upper lip stuff out of the way, can I just say that I am aching at the thought at leaving her? Pure honesty. The past 6 weeks have flown by. I am loving every minute of being Lucy’s mom- I never knew how full my heart could be with love for my husband and daughter. Lance takes such amazing care of both of us and I’m convinced he is the best dad ever. There are few things as sweet as looking down at your sleeping child and seeing traces of the man you love all over her peaceful face. And the smell of her perfectly round head is nearly intoxicating. I am so grateful to be mother and wife to these two.

But I digress.
For the past month and a half, I have ignored the impending end of maternity leave in the very fashion of Miss Scarlett O’hara herself. “I’ll think about it tuh-morrahh.” And now that we are within the last few weeks, I cannot ignore it any longer. So, I have decided to admit that I am a bit clingy. Definitely struggling with putting her down during the day. I will admit that there are mornings when I just hold her and let her sleep in my arms for hours on end. Not because I don’t have “things to do” but because this is temporary, and no amount of scrubbing tile or folding laundry will I miss in a few weeks when I sit back at my desk, sifting through a thousand emails. Oh no. It’s her I will miss. It’s the mornings I will miss the most. But, all of that aside, we are really enjoying these last few weeks. Have I said how much I love being a mom? Or is that dead obvious from my sappy blog post?

Thank you all for your prayers and for sharing in this wonderful and crazy time as we await the Lord’s direction for our future. We so want to be in the next stage of life and serving in a church some where. Lance has been so diligent in sending countless resumes in every direction– but as frustrating as waiting can be– we know that we are right where God wants us today and in His perfect timing, He will move us. We are trying to live every day honoring Him with our confident trust in His faithfulness. He has always been faithful to provide and direct and we know He is today. And He will be tomorrow.

And now, a little something to make you smile–