A couple of weeks after we moved to Georgia, I found myself reflecting one day on trials or “valleys” and the goodness of our God. After almost 18 months of uncertainty about where and when the Lord would lead us, we were all of a sudden, where He LED us.
And then we went, and here we are.
As I reflected on all that God had done to provide for us a way to move, a place to live, a church to attend, my favorite grocery store nearby, not to mention a very good job for Lance– I was blessed beyond speech. So many times I sat down at my computer to share these joys with you and all I could do was Praise God and Thank Him for His timing.
Not many days went by before I found myself just the teeniest, tiniest bit homesick. Not for Wake Forest necessarily… though we DO miss it. But homesick for the trial. I found myself actually missing that feeling of knowing little else except that “God is GOOD and we trust Him.” Both of those things are just as true today as they were six months ago, but I know I’m not the only one who finds it less of a struggle to completely RELY on Him when we have so many unanswered questions then when things are a bit smoother. It is in those times that our relationship has the potential to grow so sweet as we are constantly and painfully aware of our helplessness.
I can honestly say that I PRAISE GOD for those many days of knowing very little of our future. I know that there will be a piece of those days in every day to come as we look to Him for our every need. Though it seems as though we were just in a period of unanswered questions, I thank Him that we find ourselves in another right now. I thank Him that there will undoubtedly be many more.. and that He will be faithful in every one.
As for today, I do not know why God chose to take our precious unborn child after only a handful of weeks of rejoicing that we would, again be parents. I don’t even know what to say but that it hurts my heart. But I will rest in the promise that He is good and we trust Him. My heart is filled with joy that this sweet Stuckey Baby will never know pain or suffering and that He or She has already seen our Lord face to face. And I cannot deny the fact that I am thankful for every little and big reminder that we are completely reliant on God for our every need. I am ever grateful for His grace. And I am even more thankful (if that’s was even possible) for my Lance and my Lucy.
And for you… and your prayers.
And since you’ve patiently read through these many paragraphs, I shall reward you with a picture of our little family. 🙂
Pam says
Oh Cindy! I am so so sorry! My heart breaks for you and Lance as I know exactly the pain you are feeling. I know the heartache you have even though you also have the trust and peace that the Lord brings during this time. And how precious to know that Baby Stuckey is face to face with our Lord (and probably dancing along with Baby Weber #2)! Love you! Praying for you!!
Debbie says
Cynthia,
Thank you for sharing your heart. My heart hurts with you and I so want to be able to give you a hug. So I will trust our Good and Faithful God to wrap His arms around you and hold you for however long you need to be held. Trusting Him in the valleys of our lives causes us to live out our faith in front of a world that does not know the comfort only He can bring. May we all be found faithful!!! I love you dearly!!!
Elaine says
You put into words so well the same feelings I have had over the last couple of months. We too had spent so much time waiting and trusting that it seemed a little strange to be at a point where we had answers.
I am sorry to hear your news. While I don't know the particular pain you are feeling, I love you and am praying for you.
Tara says
Cindy, I am so sorry! What a beautiful post that captures your grief yet the hope that we have in Christ. Please know that I am praying for you!!!!
Caitlin L says
Cindy, with what beautiful and amazing grace you guys are walking through this trial. My heart grieves with yours and is so sad over this heartache, but as you said, your little one is dancing with the Lord joyfully right now. Thank you for your testimony of His goodness and being so transparent in sharing. Thank you for trusting Him and giving Him glory in the midst of so much pain. Love you so much.
Evan says
Hey Cindy
I was deeply grieved when Lance called me last week to give me the news. Christi and I have been praying for you and Lance the last few days. I appreciate you posting this. Even from the perspective you and Lance shared while still in Wake Forest. You and Lance were always an encouragement to us and we always valued your input when we were there and since our move and yours. Please know that we love you both and let us know if there is anything we can do for you.