This is it.
The last known *good* picture before I became an official (baby-on-the-outside) mother.
All the other pictures of the weekend involve swollen things. Ankles, Feet, Faces. And pictures of the triage room of REX Hospital.
This picture says so much to me. So much love we had (have) for each other.
So much anticipation. So much hope and excitement. So much humor in that when Lance said he wanted to graduate before babies… well, we just squeaked past that deadline.
So much we thought we knew that we were getting into.
It just so happens we had absolutely no idea.
I had absolutely no idea the way my heart would feel– so full it would burst when standing over their beds at night.
I had not a clue how hard it would be to see my own sin displayed in sweet cherubic faces… and not be convicted.
It had not entered my mind the hilarious joy we would find in bedtime dance parties on the dark, shiny floors.
I did not realize how hard it would be finish a thought, a conversation, a book… a cup of coffee. Nor did I think those things would matter as much as they sometimes do. Even less did I realize how guilty I would feel when the selfishness would creep in and steal my Mama-joy.
I did not know the depth of the joy.
Frankly, I did not know the depth of the sacrifice. Because it might come with the bite of the first (or 976th) saltine cracker; but the sacrifice goes on and on way past nausea and post-partum pains. If there is LOVE, there is always some degree of sacrifice.
And nothing. Nothing could have prepared me for the GRATEFULNESS which my heart knows.
We wake and we play and we learn and we go and we do…
And all the while, we count gifts. Thousands of them.
Stones of Remembrance. Mile Markers to HIS grace. Mental scrapbooks of all we have been given and blessed with.
I pray that the GRATEFULNESS we know is bigger and wider and longer than any other element of this Mama-Child Love.
And I am so very grateful that someone, two someone’s call me Mommy.
Whitney from Beauty in the Mess says
Beautiful mama!! I love your picture too! How crazy that she was born the weekend of graduation!! Motherhood is hard, but so worth it. Happy early Mother’s Day!!
Karrilee Aggett says
This – my friend – is all kinds of Beautiful! What a tribute and a blessing! So glad we are neighbors today over at Lisa-Jo’s… so glad we are Mama’s in this journey together!
Jamie Gunn says
Love without sacrifice…not for God, not for us…LOVE! Beautiful!
Thanks for sharing it… it’s a challenge to accept the depth of sacrifice required with gratitude – isn’t it true so many blessings come with challenges too? I’m touched to read that your joy and gratitude are overwhelming the sense of sacrifice, and pray that you will always find your way back to gratitude when the sacrifice seems so very great.
I’ve got a few tears in my eyes….so many beautiful words! I’m not a momma, but your words hit me right in the heart. And make me want to call my Momma! Because I’m so grateful I get to call her Mom!!
Holly Barrett says
Sweet words, dear friend! Love the picture and the memories you shared. Love the reminder to look for the “mile markers of HIS grace.” Yes!
Meredith Bernard says
Such sweet words from such a sweet mama. That photo of your husband kissing your baby belly? I melt. It is amazing how these littles affect every ounce of our being, isn’t it? And, oh, the sacrifice. So true. And such a blessing. And yes, so much to be grateful for! Mothers Day blessings to you this weekend…Meredith
judith heaney says
What a beautiful tribute of thankfulness for who you are and what you have.
And, oh, these words were so convicting to me: I did not realize how hard it would be finish a thought, a conversation, a book… a cup of coffee. Nor did I think those things would matter as much as they sometimes do. Even less did I realize how guilty I would feel when the selfishness would creep in and steal my Mama-joy.
Oh, the mornings I have coveted my coffee and felt annoyed at the interruption of two little girls; and the immediate conviction of my selfishness.
Thank you for sharing your heart and your words. And for the beautiful image of the mental scrapbooks and Mile Markers of his grace. Wonderful images that I will carry with me today.
The Mama journey is such a hard, beautiful one – isn’t it. “Depth of Sacrifice” – so true, and so worth every bit. I love this honest tribute that you share here and am grateful for the joy you remind us of and the friendship we share in this community.
Jolene Underwood (@Faith_Eyes) says
Beautiful post! Oh those joys are so precious. I loved hearing the special moments and the unique ways you and your beloved have enjoyed this journey of parenting.
Kayla Aimee (@kaylaaimee) says
This is so sweet!
What an incredible post. I felt my heart just swell. And that photo of your husband kissing your belly, darling. What a beautiful life and what a wonderful blessing to be a mom. 🙂 Happy Mother’s Day!