A road winds behind our house and we pass on it when we head home. This preview of our little haven stretches out its’ arms in comfort before we even roll over the driveway’s gravel. On the days I go out alone and come home, my heart squeezes to see my favorite people through the large windows– and I’ll often slow down to take in the view.
The other day I headed home after receiving difficult news. I was alone in the car in thick silence, crying out for God to care for us in our… well, in our pain. Struggling with my own questions, I pulled onto the road behind Blue House, so named by its happy inhabitants–
and I was completely awestruck.
There running down the hill from the house was one of God’s most tangible gifts. Knee deep in the crispy evidence of Fall and moving so fast, her bouncy curls struggled to keep up. She stopped and waved both her arms, my own personal air traffic control. A grin spread from one of her tiny pierced ears to the other as she mouthed, “HI MOM!!!!” I waved back and the tears I’d been holding onto tumbled out amidst uncontrollable laughter.
This is life running right towards me. Life full and beautiful and bubbling over with so much grace. And even in our darkest of days, when the rug is swiftly pulled from beneath your feet and you duck your head and brace for the impact, Keep looking up.
In every dark day, we have a choice. And it isn’t whether or not to grieve.
Even for the believer, grieving is often non- negotiable. But oh, that we could learn to grieve toward God instead of grieving inward, suffering silently. Why do we do that? Why must we think that our faith gives us a pass to table the pain? It doesn’t.
Having hope does not equal dealing alone in swift, silent, suffering.
Having hope equals taking our pain in one arm and our hope in the other and opening our hands that God would make something beautiful of them both.
When the unthinkable happens, may we look up to the Giver and Sustainer of all our life— not just the happy parts– and stare Hope straight in the face.
“I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
2 He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
3 He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:1-3