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Happy Go Stuckey

Tethering Grace & Togetherness

On Stepping Back & Letting Go

August 7, 2016 by HappyGoStuckey 4 Comments

Sometime soon– you will find that you have to let go again.

You will pour cereal and smile at sleepy faces. You will pack lunches and breathe a prayer. You will grab keys and kiss foreheads and tousle hair.

You will help them take this step. And even though you will want to turn the car around, and around and around until you find yourself in their old nursery with the crib and the blanket and lamp and all these days still ahead — be brave.

You get to show them what brave looks like. You move forward with hope. You’re living the example that growing up is good and more time given is a privilege. That we were not placed on this earth to stand still or to go back– but to move forward in faith and courage. To be lights.

No matter how the shadows of this world lengthen, our role does not change. We are the lights. We may often lay down heavy hearted at the state of the planet we will awaken to, but this is the purpose of lights. It’s what they do. They shine in dark places.  And the light that shares your last name? You’ve been preparing them to shine since they padded around in footie pajamas.

They are ready. And so are you. And the moment we remember that they were made for this– to go out and shine– is the moment our grip loosens with a little less fear and a little more peace. Our hands relax to open and offer back what was given us for a season.

If they forget to stop and turn and wave, it is only because you gave them courage and confidence.  They haven’t forgotten.

If it feels like they need you less all of a sudden, it is because you were there, all those days when they needed you more than anything.

Whether they stare in the face of preschool or fifth grade or freshman year– your job is the same as you take a breath and take a step back.

Step back knowing that God never does. Not for one second that they are out of your sight, will they ever leave His. When your arms aren’t long enough to pull them back, He is firmly holding them right where they should be.

And the soul ache- heart ache- head ache of watching them walk away? It’s the seared mark of a deep abiding love. We are rarely ready to let go of what we love the most. But letting go is holy when it makes room for God’s glory. So, yes. Take the tiny step back that feels horrendously risky. And know that there is no risk too great when true obedience is present.

Tomorrow in houses strangely lacking the din of summer togetherness, let us remember to pray not only for God’s protection over our children– but for His glory to be seen through them.

Let their kindness be clear, their hope be sure, and their belonging to Him be deep in their bones.
Let them come to us when they feel too much or not quite enough.
May they know who they are because we have written it upon their hearts with a thousand conversations.
May God fill in all the spaces where we fail them.
May He be the One they know as the standard for love and acceptance.
May they make their schools better by their presence– lighting up corners and sparking from cracks.
May they be known as true friends who speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves.
May they shine, diamonds on a backdrop of midnight– reflecting the Light of Christ.

Also, it’s completely acceptable to sit in the parking lot, cry, & flip through all those mental snapshots of their baby days. Wear the dark sunglasses and know you are not alone.
And neither are they.

Welcome Wounds & True Friendship
What I Learned & Loved this Summer

Comments

  1. Erin says

    August 12, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    What a beautiful post! I needed to be reminded of this perspective. Thank you.

    Reply
    • HappyGoStuckey says

      August 12, 2016 at 1:04 pm

      Hi Erin! Thank you for stopping by. And so do I. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Stephanie says

    August 12, 2016 at 3:36 pm

    I am right here with you. I am anticipating the letting go in just a few days and it is so bitter sweet. Thank you for these wise words and prayers. Yes, I trust that God is watching them even when I cannot.

    Reply

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    September 15, 2016 at 4:58 pm

    […] the ones who have sent (or are sending) children back to school, this post on stepping back and letting go, by Cynthia […]

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Hey There!

I'm Cynthia and I'm so glad you're here. I am an introvert with an extrovert's love of gathering people together. I love good books and capturing moments. Whether you visit me here or on my own front porch, I'll be the one holding the Iced Coffee for us both.

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happygostuckey

Some of the rhythms we took up in ‘20 we will co Some of the rhythms we took up in ‘20 we will continue to sigh into in ‘21.
Baking sourdough, watching it bubble and rise and fill our BlueHouse with the scent of a good, long, posture of patience— I absolutely need a second serving of this.
While we wait, and whatever it is that we wait for— may the space between be made sweeter by the knowledge that we never wait alone.
You can’t tell by their joy, but the day I snapp You can’t tell by their joy, but the day I snapped this photo was somewhat of a regular day.

What looks like a winter beach vacation was actually the tail-end of a masked lunch stop in the middle of a pandemic road trip.

This sparkling moment of sun-splashed fun was sandwiched between brutal conversations about regular life, especially the hard parts.

And this is how it is. 
These bits of life that we never see coming, they are enveloped between all that makes us tired, weary, sighing pilgrims in a world that was never really meant to be hospitable in the first place.

This photo reminds me to look again at our year, our season, our circumstances.

To look a second and third time.
To keep looking as long as it takes to see that the joy of our right now isn’t gone, it just might be hiding in the shadow of all that’s hard.

Brokenness is never vague. And we don’t have to search very long to see it both within ourselves and around us.
Sometimes the weight of that fact is crushing.
And then, sometimes it reminds us even more clearly of the light shining in darkness.

Joy is an act of defiance against despair and I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling rather defiant at the moment.✨✨✨✨

@hopewriters #hopewriterlife 
#feastingandforaging #hopelenses #getaftergrateful
Endurance can feel like standing still. Especially Endurance can feel like standing still. Especially if what we’re called to be about is the same as yesterday and last month. 
It’s difficult to meet each day with the same fervor and joy for what we are called to do, especially when at present, the progress seems small and immeasurable. 
But even then, perhaps especially so — our faithfulness matters.

When we cannot yet see the other side, the light at the end of this particularly long tunnel, we begin again.

Not because we will always wake with fresh energies and bright, sparkling hope for what comes next, friend. But because the God of Endurance (Romans 15:5) dwells within us.

“It is the grace of endurance granted to you by the God of endurance that provides you with everything you need to continue to be what he calls you to be and do what he calls you to do between this moment and the moment when you cross over to the other side. When difficulty exposes the weakness of your resolve and the limits of your strength, you do not have to panic, because He will endure even in this moments when you don’t feel able to do so yourself.” — Paul David Tripp, New Morning Mercies

#hopewriterlife
Stuckey, party of two. Always ready to run out for Stuckey, party of two. Always ready to run out for paper towels... especially if the store is in convenient proximity to a quick date for croissants and dirty chai for two. Love my forever coffee companion even more at the start of this new year. Wherever he’s going, I’m riding shotgun.
We have learned... The inestimable value of a goo We have learned...

The inestimable value of a good camp chair, for they have been used for everything from soccer benches and coffee dates to theatre seats and church pews.

What our neighborhood streets can offer in the way of an outing—from the colors of spring to the sparkle of Christmas.

To hold plans with the loosest hands possible.

To rejoice in things found. Time. Margin. ...and enough toilet paper to share with a neighbor.

To give grace and accept it for ourselves.

The hilarious joy of a group text complete with “have you seen this meme yet?” 

To pivot. And then pivot again.

To find more joy in candlelight closer to home, instead of the bright lights of traveled cities.

To perfect our pizza dough recipe and truly learn to prefer it over dinner out.

To work with yeast and flour again and again— until the message of waiting for something really good dusted our apron fronts and kitchen floors.

And in our house, we learned how to be unexpectedly unemployed. We learned how to honor that new found space with needed grief and desired hope. How to be grateful for true friends who prayed with us, held questions with us, and hoped with us. We were reminded of our true identity and that it will never rest in a job. 

In a year in which we’ve all lost quite a lot, you and I have been given so much as well. Some of what we’ve lost we have learned to be without. Some, we won’t go looking for again.

In 525,600 minutes and in all the things, found and lost and found again— there is far and away more to be grateful for.

And we choose joy.

✨Happy New Year, dear friends!✨
Not rushing too quickly into a new year over here. Not rushing too quickly into a new year over here. Though the one in our rear view window is one we wouldn’t choose to repeat, still it was one full of God’s nearness.

One day I’ll write it all down.
But for now I’ll just say,
we were not alone. 🕯
“Once in our world, a Stable had something in it “Once in our world, a Stable had something in it that was bigger than our whole world.”
C.S.Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia

Joy to the World, friends.
Behold. The most apropos Christmas Eve 2020 desser Behold. The most apropos Christmas Eve 2020 dessert ever. Made from a wonky gingerbread cake that did not cooperate.
We shall not go quietly into 2021.
We will fight back with beauty and joy and candles... and fresh whipped cream made by an eleven year old with sparkly green eyes. 🎄❤️✨
Merry Christmas from the Fam! { 👉🏻 swipe for Merry Christmas from the Fam! { 👉🏻 swipe for Stuckeys in their natural habitat.) 🎄🕯❤️✨
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