I worried about my daughter nearly every day of the 9 months I was pregnant with her. All parents worry to some degree, but I worried to a fault. To a sinful fault. All of my fear was centered around one central idea, losing her to SIDS. I read as much information I could get my hands on, I devoured any literature I could find, all the while being overly concerned about what I could DO to keep her safe. Then she came and we did everything we could to keep her safe. We kept her in a wearable blanket that zipped up, we kept her in our room for much longer than I would like to admit, we checked on her during the night–boy, did we check on her! Every night that we laid her down, we prayed over her that the Lord would hold her safe in His arms. We did just about every single thing that the AAP recommends. Literally, she did not get to sleep with a blanket or anything until one week before her first birthday. I was hardcore about it. I remember giving her a blanket a few days before her birthday and she just snuggled right under it, as if to say, “Finally!”
I remember when she got to be about 8 months old, we would put her to bed on her back and she would flip over to her tummy before going to sleep. I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that a couple of times I would wait until she fell asleep and flip her back over, only to check on her later that night and flip her over again! Eventually, my sweet husband gently helped me realize that if she is strong enough to flip back and forth like that with ease, she is probably okay to choose her own sleeping position. (we still put her to bed on her back though!)
I certainly wouldn’t take back anything we did and I do not feel that we were anything but first time parents doing what first time parents do. And actually, somewhere down the road when we have another newborn– I cannot say that I will change anything about how we try to protect them. I sincerely pray though, that my mindset will be one of more peace and trust instead of nagging fear and doubt when it comes to the safety of my child. Because some where in the last year I felt the freedom of having a toddler instead of a baby and how wonderful it was not to worry so much at night… and then I realized all of the many, MANY things that “could” happen. And in that moment, as I thanked the Lord for keeping her safe thus far, I was reminded of the very true fact that our safety comes from God himself and not from the AAP. It’s very important to be educated. God has placed us in the position to protect our children from whatever harm we can– but they belong to HIM. He has a plan for their lives. He is in complete control. And even now– as she is nearly two years old– as I sit here writing this post, I praise Him every time I hear her little “sleeping sighs” through the monitor and rest that she is in HIS capable hands.
“Then Job answered the Lord, and said, I know that Thou canst do all things, And that no purpose of Thine can be thwarted.” Job 42:1