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Happy Go Stuckey

Tethering Grace & Togetherness

Walls and Community.

August 28, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 3 Comments

In 2003, I moved away from home and into an apartment with two to three college roommates. We studied, sure– we went to class, but we lived life together. We shopped and cooked and ate together like a little family most nights. We made birthday cakes for the boys down the sidewalk in exchange for them looking out for us and our cars. We took trips to the Farmer’s Market, the Duke Gardens and the Mall.

Definitely the Mall.

We had all kinds of community. Not just because we studied Church History over Chicken Enchiladas, but because we were REAL with each other. I remember the first time one of them called me out on something I was doing. It was awkward and I did not know how to process it. But it was the love that shook me out of my pity party. She cared enough for me to risk the awkwardness. She was right at the time and now, nearly ten years later, I would do anything for either one of them.

***

When we first moved here nearly four years ago, I was happy to be a hermit. Most of my daytime words were spent on an 18 month old (who happens to be a chatterbox, now– so there you go.) and my usual Publix cashier. The experience of moving to a new city where my only “people” lived in the same 2 bedroom home was a bit shocking for this social girl.

God pushed us quite clearly into the arms of an amazing small group and it changed us completely. I wrote about the difficulty of moving and the joy of stepping out and finding that community here. 

And then around the same time I wrote that in March, the landscape of our community changed again.

Our job and small group situation had to alter a bit and I found myself with a front door that wasn’t opening quite as much. More quiet. Less busyness. Less community.

And I felt it, all over again. Tentative. Wanting to Hermit-tize and just focus on what was inside these four little walls. Focus on what I knew. On what was easy and familiar.

But even in the change, even when all familiarity is taken away and we find ourselves “the new kid,” there is reason to be REAL.

The look of community may change as our circumstances change, but our need for it does not.

We were made for community. God made us to be in fellowship with each other and with Him.

When we hide inside all that is familiar in a desperate need to stay comfortable, we miss out. Period. 

We miss out on the closeness. We miss out on bearing the burden. We miss out on growing in life together. We miss out on one of the main elements of our design.

Can I encourage you today? Take down a few walls. If you’re struggling, tell someone who cares for you. Admitting your need is braver than trying to handle it alone. 

Instead of waking up and slapping on the “cope” face– be okay with not being okay. 

And can I just say, if you think you are the only one that feels alone– you aren’t. I have been there. I have been at that conference, at that Mom’s meeting, at that playdate, at that new small group– where all I could do was habitually adjust my outfit and try not to make eye contact with anyone in hopes that someone would approach me.

We all want someone to reach out to us– sometimes the best way to find a community is to start by building it.

 

Open the door.

Not much has Changed. (FMF)
What I learned in August.

Comments

  1. Caitlin L. says

    August 28, 2014 at 1:48 pm

    Thank you for this post. Definitely feeling the loneliness today and am very encouraged by this post. Thank you so much!

    Reply
  2. happygostuckey says

    August 28, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    Oh, sweet friend. If only we lived on the same side of the world– I would bring coffee (tea?) and something yummy and we would sit on your couch and talk for hours!!!! Miss you dear friend. Praying for you this minute that God would continue to bring believers who can share life with you to your sweet village. I’m jealous of your neighbors, really. 😉

    Reply
  3. Meredith Bernard says

    August 28, 2014 at 6:41 pm

    These are great words on community, friend. This speaks to me so loud, “When we hide inside all that is familiar in a desperate need to stay comfortable, we miss out. Period. “ I have that desire so often and have done that before, but you are right, it means missing out. And after stepping out, I realize that. 😉 You have a beautiful way of getting to the heart of the matter…and that matters. So glad I stopped by today! xoxo

    Reply

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Hey There!

I'm Cynthia and I'm so glad you're here. I am an introvert with an extrovert's love of gathering people together. I love good books and capturing moments. Whether you visit me here or on my own front porch, I'll be the one holding the Iced Coffee for us both.

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Throwing it back but not way back: remember last y Throwing it back but not way back: remember last year when we *discovered* the whipped, frothy, goodness of Dalgona Coffee?

I made it again today for the express purpose of seeing if it would still work with less sugar and I rather like my lightened up version!

(Tip: in my opinion, it makes enough for two— especially because I use instant espresso— so it’s pretty strong! Not warm where you are yet?  Tap the little flag to save this post for later.)

✨Whipped Coffee✨ 
2 TBS. instant espresso
2 TBS. cold water
1 TBS. maple syrup or simple syrup
1-2 glasses of ice and milk

Whip/ Beat the espresso, syrup, and water with an electric beater, immersion blender, or hand-held milk frother until frothy and light in color. Scoop over the milk and ice and enjoy!
🪡Do I seamstressed to you?🪡 Really though, 🪡Do I seamstressed to you?🪡 

Really though, after completing my first embroidery project, I feel like it might just be the cheapest, prettiest, stress relief out there. I am officially a believer in relaxing this way. And PS, if I can do it, you can.

Thank you, @thebarmyfox for bringing this lovely art into my life!
Joy is the courage of people who don’t have all Joy is the courage of people who don’t have all the answers, yet.

While you sit in a season of waiting,
the calendar can often be a cruel companion, reminding you that days go by, weeks, months— with what feels like very little change in the right direction.

Perhaps you can easily assent to: 
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick,

but you strain to see just how it will be when: “...a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” (Proverbs 13:12)

Wherever you and I are today— whether we wander, wait, stand firmly planted, or some pressed together combination of all three — we can take heart.

We are not alone.
And this will not be wasted.
What seems to be an unending blank space, an indefinite pause, is a space for new things.

Long before all is made right, and whether or not it all is tied up neatly with a perfectly crafted bow— we can know this:

We do not have to know the outcome to be faithful today.

✨Joy is not disregard for reality as much as it is obstinacy against despair.✨
Hi 👋🏻 I’m Cynthia and I’m a bit weary. T Hi 👋🏻 I’m Cynthia and I’m a bit weary. There. I said it. These days I’m gravitating to the true & the beautiful as rest for my weary self... and I wonder if you are too.

So much so, that I’m starting a new little offering, it’s called “The Feast: Wonder for the Weary” and the first issue goes out this weekend. It’s a bit more personal (okay this first one is WAY more personal. 🤭) It will be a little bit of everything, all with the goal of offering REST to both the feasters & foragers alike. If you’re already a subscriber— no need to do anything, if not— click through my bio to “keep in touch” and join the feast.✨
We are a people of both lament and praise. We hol We are a people of both lament and praise.

We hold questions without answers— yet we hold them in hands already full of good things.

We hold our daily bread, our daily gifts, and we hold the daily closeness of the God Who Sees.

The God who is no stranger to our lament, and Who Is the reason for our every hope.
He does not grow weary of our asking. Of our need to be told again, He will. 

You friend, are not invisible.
You are seen and cared for by the God who does all things well. (Even when they feel anything but.)
Married love ambition: making the kids roll their Married love ambition: making the kids roll their eyes at our “gushy-ness” as often as possible. 

President & CEO of the Lance Stuckey Fan Club— in every season, but especially on days like today.
Rainy day Mocha date, courtesy of our own toasty k Rainy day Mocha date, courtesy of our own toasty kitchen.😍🌧📚

On this chilly Saturday, we spent entirely too long browsing for books at our library and then all came home to a fire, mochas, and cocoa, respectively. Of all the things we do not know at this very moment, we know the gifts abound, and are worth counting.

PS, if you haven’t spread whipped cream on a foil-lined baking sheet to freeze, and then cut out cute shapes with cookie cutters to top your coffee or hot cocoa, may I suggest you get thee on that at once.
“If God sends us on strong paths, we are provide “If God sends us on strong paths, we are provided strong shoes.” — Corrie Ten Boom

✨File under, things to save in a fire.✨

The prayer journal pictured here contains six months of the hard & the sweet.
Six months of prayers asked & answered for ourselves and for others.
Six months of seeing through prayer, not how it changed our circumstances necessarily but how it changed us.

I always appreciate a record like this— being able to clearly see the paths we are led down, rocky though they may be? Priceless.

The ways God has come near us & drawn us to Himself again and again are written on these pages and I’ll treasure it forever.

Also pictured: Psalms Illuminated Scripture Journal. Highly recommend. Thank you always, @allifarnell
“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it th “The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

While scrolling through my photos today, my heart was heavy to realize how far back “before” was.

Before masks and distancing, before loss, before other, more personal bits of hard. Multitudinous change, neither all bad nor all good.

With our free time, we’ve introduced our girls to Tolkien, Bilbo, Frodo, and especially Samwise the Brave. They are officially hooked and we are delighted to watch them discover another world where evil doesn’t win, and the courage of the small matters much. {they close their eyes at the Orcs and we haven’t had a nightmare yet!}🤞🏻😂😬
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