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Happy Go Stuckey

Tethering Grace & Togetherness

Whisper. Or, Saying No. (FMF)

September 5, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 7 Comments

I think I might have missed Summer. It was busy and fun but not nearly enough sit and soak. 

Ironically, I set out putting a few measures in place, allowing for less do-do-do and more soak-soak-soak. But it backfired and now I sit here in the last few weeks of heat (I certainly hope so.) wondering why I feel so buried in stuff and listening to the garishly loud shout of my To-Do List.

I am doing things differently this Fall.

I’m doing what matters to God. What matters to our little four. What matters to me.

And if I have to say “no” again and again and again… until there is space to breathe and think and be, I will.

Even when it disappoints. I will say No. Unless HE has asked me to say yes. I’m saying “No” when He hasn’t said “Yes.”

Kindly. Genuinely. Graciously. But still, No. Even if I have to whisper it at first. 

I will whisper “No” to those “maybe I should’s…” that rise up in the back of my mind until I’m more confident in my ability to say “No” firmly.

I used to be quite good at saying it.

When I was a working mom, that was it. “I work. I’m a wife and mom. That is just about all I can do. ”

But as the job title changed to SAHM, it was like I burned my “get-out-of-over-committment-free card.”

As though because I was allowed to wear yoga pants every day to work than I should always have time for every single thing, every opportunity, every request.

Well I want that little card back. 

For the sake of my sanity.

For the sake of my often neglected quiet time.

For the sake of my over-extended self that snaps at the people I’m here to serve in the first place.

For the sake of my enjoyment of the ministries that GOD actually has inserted into my life.

Because the mathematical truth of saying “YES” is this: Saying yes to one thing, is absolutely saying no to another. That other thing far too often becomes my family or my health.

Our fear of man looks a lot like overcommitment sometimes, but it’s often just plain idolatry.

We cannot sacrifice those things we KNOW God has given us to do on the altar of what everyone else thinks we SHOULD be doing. 

No = Margin. Whether you whisper it or say it confidently, if you don’t know for certain that you should be saying yes– say No.

And then revel in the space you have when God gives you a “yes.”

 

Linking up with Five Minute Friday– my favorite community of writers– over here! 

What I learned in August.
A Letter to My 17 Year Old Self

Comments

  1. Bethany says

    September 5, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    What a sweet reminder to look heavenward. Excellent post. Thanks!

    Reply
  2. Crystal says

    September 5, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    I too have to whisper my nos at first until I can back them with conviction. It is nice to remember that we are not called to do everything, just some things. Those things grow into things of higher value when we can give them the space, time and passion they need to prosper.

    Reply
  3. stoopingformanna says

    September 5, 2014 at 9:03 pm

    AMEN! Thank you for putting words to the SAHM pressure… and for answering it with such wisdom. Keep whispering what He tells you to, girl! I appreciated this thoughtful post.

    Reply
  4. CW says

    September 5, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    Amen to all of this! Thank you for sharing it!

    Reply
  5. Hope says

    September 8, 2014 at 10:18 am

    I am all with you. Summer got away from us due to traveling. We feel we’ve had no summer.

    And I am with you in regards to saying no. I know it’s not easy but when you think who you do it for and why, you know it’s the best. You’ll have a better life because of it. Unfortunately we have to experience that before it gets easier.

    Reply
  6. lindseylearns says

    September 16, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    Hi there! Found your blog through the At the Barn event! I’m so excited to explore your blog a bit more and meet you next weekend, but I had to quickly chime in on the cold brew coffee issue! I’m a cold brew addict. 🙂 It looks like you are grinding your coffee grounds too finely! They should be very coarse. If you have a grinder, use the coarsest setting (or French Press setting). If you are using pre-ground beans, that may be your problem.

    I use a Toddy cold brew system, which comes with a particular filter. Absolutely no grounds get through, and it’s DELICIOUS. 🙂

    Reply
    • happygostuckey says

      September 16, 2014 at 4:36 pm

      HI, LINDSEY! Thank you!!! I’m sure that’s exactly it. We have a burr grinder and I know I’ve been grinding it too finely, now that you say that! Thank you SO much for chiming in– I will try it this week. 🙂
      Looking forward to meeting you next weekend!
      –Cynthia

      Reply

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Hey There!

I'm Cynthia and I'm so glad you're here. I am an introvert with an extrovert's love of gathering people together. I love good books and capturing moments. Whether you visit me here or on my own front porch, I'll be the one holding the Iced Coffee for us both.

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Joy is the courage of people who don’t have all Joy is the courage of people who don’t have all the answers, yet.

While you sit in a season of waiting,
the calendar can often be a cruel companion, reminding you that days go by, weeks, months— with what feels like very little change in the right direction.

Perhaps you can easily assent to: 
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick,

but you strain to see just how it will be when: “...a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” (Proverbs 13:12)

Wherever you and I are today— whether we wander, wait, stand firmly planted, or some pressed together combination of all three — we can take heart.

We are not alone.
And this will not be wasted.
What seems to be an unending blank space, an indefinite pause, is a space for new things.

Long before all is made right, and whether or not it all is tied up neatly with a perfectly crafted bow— we can know this:

We do not have to know the outcome to be faithful today.

✨Joy is not disregard for reality as much as it is obstinacy against despair.✨
Hi 👋🏻 I’m Cynthia and I’m a bit weary. T Hi 👋🏻 I’m Cynthia and I’m a bit weary. There. I said it. These days I’m gravitating to the true & the beautiful as rest for my weary self... and I wonder if you are too.

So much so, that I’m starting a new little offering, it’s called “The Feast: Wonder for the Weary” and the first issue goes out this weekend. It’s a bit more personal (okay this first one is WAY more personal. 🤭) It will be a little bit of everything, all with the goal of offering REST to both the feasters & foragers alike. If you’re already a subscriber— no need to do anything, if not— click through my bio to “keep in touch” and join the feast.✨
We are a people of both lament and praise. We hol We are a people of both lament and praise.

We hold questions without answers— yet we hold them in hands already full of good things.

We hold our daily bread, our daily gifts, and we hold the daily closeness of the God Who Sees.

The God who is no stranger to our lament, and Who Is the reason for our every hope.
He does not grow weary of our asking. Of our need to be told again, He will. 

You friend, are not invisible.
You are seen and cared for by the God who does all things well. (Even when they feel anything but.)
Married love ambition: making the kids roll their Married love ambition: making the kids roll their eyes at our “gushy-ness” as often as possible. 

President & CEO of the Lance Stuckey Fan Club— in every season, but especially on days like today.
Rainy day Mocha date, courtesy of our own toasty k Rainy day Mocha date, courtesy of our own toasty kitchen.😍🌧📚

On this chilly Saturday, we spent entirely too long browsing for books at our library and then all came home to a fire, mochas, and cocoa, respectively. Of all the things we do not know at this very moment, we know the gifts abound, and are worth counting.

PS, if you haven’t spread whipped cream on a foil-lined baking sheet to freeze, and then cut out cute shapes with cookie cutters to top your coffee or hot cocoa, may I suggest you get thee on that at once.
“If God sends us on strong paths, we are provide “If God sends us on strong paths, we are provided strong shoes.” — Corrie Ten Boom

✨File under, things to save in a fire.✨

The prayer journal pictured here contains six months of the hard & the sweet.
Six months of prayers asked & answered for ourselves and for others.
Six months of seeing through prayer, not how it changed our circumstances necessarily but how it changed us.

I always appreciate a record like this— being able to clearly see the paths we are led down, rocky though they may be? Priceless.

The ways God has come near us & drawn us to Himself again and again are written on these pages and I’ll treasure it forever.

Also pictured: Psalms Illuminated Scripture Journal. Highly recommend. Thank you always, @allifarnell
“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it th “The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

While scrolling through my photos today, my heart was heavy to realize how far back “before” was.

Before masks and distancing, before loss, before other, more personal bits of hard. Multitudinous change, neither all bad nor all good.

With our free time, we’ve introduced our girls to Tolkien, Bilbo, Frodo, and especially Samwise the Brave. They are officially hooked and we are delighted to watch them discover another world where evil doesn’t win, and the courage of the small matters much. {they close their eyes at the Orcs and we haven’t had a nightmare yet!}🤞🏻😂😬
I’m leaning increasingly more into the analog th I’m leaning increasingly more into the analog these days.

It started with the Sourdough and a dozen different kinds of jam last year.
I suddenly find great calm in activities that stand in direction opposition to hurry, the textbook definition of ✨work in progress.✨ And really, if you could see the other side of this piece, you would believe me. 🙃

Thank you to @thebarmyfox for making embroidery so accessible!
@thenester says, “It doesn’t have to be perfec @thenester says, “It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful,” and I believe that the weeknight meal equivalent is, “Just because it’s easy— doesn’t make it a second-tier supper!”

Thank you, Spaghetti with Meat sauce for being both a ministry to mom AND a crowd pleaser. Especially on a dreary January-ish day. It is ✨quite alright✨ to make something we’ve made a million times just because we know it makes the people happy.🍝
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