HappyGoStuckey

Ready. (FMF)

September 11, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 25 Comments

(**Psst, maybe consider scrolling down and clicking on the video while you read?)

“I’m not ready for this.”

As a parent, I’ve said that phrase countless times. My inability to keep up with the rapidly forward- moving pace of life gives insight into my focus. Did you catch it? “I’M NOT READY.”

The trouble is, we rarely think we are ready for change. Where our children are concerned, they are almost 100% more ready than we think we are for whatever next step is next.

Last month, it was Kindergarten. Five days a week. That’s every day but Saturday and Sunday, by the way. That’s a lot of days for a mama and her green-eyed homebody girl. And it hasn’t been easy. But she’s blooming. And she gets in the car and tells how she made friends with a classmate who was “all alone” I’m smiling now and I remember that HIS hand is guiding her, not my ability to watch her every step.

And at Church she moved up from the Preschool department and I think I might just cry if she stops wanting to wear hair bows. But that first Sunday morning– she stood on the chair next to me and she read the Worship lyrics and she SANG. Of her own accord to my God who I hope she will choose to follow. And I never, just never knew that kind of joy of standing next to my barely grown 5 year old and realizing the capacity that growing creates. She was ready for this. And it readies her for what’s next.

And Oh, I hope I’m growing and growing some more with the same breathless joy. I hope that when God is leading me farther, higher, into more– that I get up and JUST GO. Laughing at the future, not looking back forlornly.

Let’s agree, you and me. No shrinking back, no refusal to be stretched, even when it feels strangely like growing pains. Even when we can NOT see where He will lead us next.

Unknown City. Unknown job. Unknown future. Unknown path. Unknown Whatever.

That restless feeling? It may just be the movement of God as He moves toward you to move you FORWARD.

Let’s just be ready to go. Higher. Deeper.

Because one thing we know, HE GOES BEFORE US.

And this– because well, All Sons and Daughters says it pretty well.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGDVlOKoOoE]

Linking up with the fantastic Flash Mob of Writers over at Kate’s for Five Minute Friday.

A Letter to My 17 Year Old Self

September 9, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 4 Comments

In the midst of the normal every day wonderful-crazy, sometimes I forget that this life, the happy life that means you can always find a baggie of Goldfish in my purse and Barbies in my car, wasn’t always my reality.

At some point over the last few years I noticed something quite shocking. I grew up. And not just a little, but so much so that teenagers and young college girls look really young to me. And I can tell I don’t look so young to them– I can just tell. In the Target restroom, they pretend not to watch as I struggle with the olympic sport of– helping tiny people wash their hands without getting soaked.

The last time I feverishly ripped open a box of fruit snacks in the grocery store aisle to soothe the past-naptime woes of an assertive 2 1/2 year old, I noticed them. A group of high school girls watching me next to the granola bars. They looked inquisitive. They looked confused, as if to say– “why is that child doing that strange contortion with her body and whining and why does that mom have that HUGE vein popping out of her forehead?”

I resisted the urge to say, “Just wait…” Because, well, why? They aren’t even aware that their future sweet, innocent, precious darlings will one day make veins pop out of their side-swept bang-covered foreheads. Bless their hearts.

I know.

Because I was 17 once.

And I remember what I noticed. And what I thought as I babysat little ones.

Things like, “MY children will never eat frozen pancakes for breakfast.” (They did this morning, by the way.)

“MY children will never wear an abundance of character apparel.” (And whyyestheydo. And we all live to tell about it.)

So I wondered about what I thought then, and what I know now. And if I could go back, this is what I would say…

Dear 17 Year Old Me:

Hi. You may not know me but I’m you 15 years from now. I know. That seems like an eternity, but it’s really not. Regardless of how many times you watch Anne of Green Gables and calculate that she was about your age when she fell in love with Gilbert Blythe, it’s… gonna be awhile. So settle in a little bit. Enjoy what’s right in front of you. And stop thinking you’re going to find the man of your dreams around every corner. In fact, the next few corners you go around, just turn your head and look the other way. Trust me. Not. Him. Definitely Not him. And in a few more years? Not him either. Certainly not.

But in about seven years— Yes, that’s right… SEVEN years you will meet that guy. And though he won’t propose on a covered bridge outside an an Apple Orchard in early October, you won’t mind. And believe it or not, though his name won’t be Gilbert Blythe, you won’t want diamond sunsets or marble halls either. Just him. Trust me on that one.

And a few years later, when your college babysitting days are behind you–you’ll find yourself surrounded by those very little girls you’re hoping you have one day. They will be tons of fun and will come ready-made with the highest-pitched screams you’ve ever heard.

You’ll take a deep breath at about 3:00PM every day when your house is momentarily quiet. You’ll look around at the happy fallout of a life well-lived since 7am that morning and wonder if moving out would be easier than cleaning. It’s not.

Hopefully you’ll remember I said this when you get to that day– keep going, Mom. This life you have? It’s amazing. Those sticky maple syrup prints on the kitchen table? They were put there early this morning as two little sister-friends shared giggles and waffles (frozen, by the way) and they mean that those dreams came true. So clean them up with a happy heart, because your table will (God willing) be sticky again tomorrow.

Love, your Older, Wiser, Life-loving Self.

Whisper. Or, Saying No. (FMF)

September 5, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 7 Comments

I think I might have missed Summer. It was busy and fun but not nearly enough sit and soak.

Ironically, I set out putting a few measures in place, allowing for less do-do-do and more soak-soak-soak. But it backfired and now I sit here in the last few weeks of heat (I certainly hope so.) wondering why I feel so buried in stuff and listening to the garishly loud shout of my To-Do List.

I am doing things differently this Fall.

I’m doing what matters to God. What matters to our little four. What matters to me.

And if I have to say “no” again and again and again… until there is space to breathe and think and be, I will.

Even when it disappoints. I will say No. Unless HE has asked me to say yes. I’m saying “No” when He hasn’t said “Yes.”

Kindly. Genuinely. Graciously. But still, No. Even if I have to whisper it at first.

I will whisper “No” to those “maybe I should’s…” that rise up in the back of my mind until I’m more confident in my ability to say “No” firmly.

I used to be quite good at saying it.

When I was a working mom, that was it. “I work. I’m a wife and mom. That is just about all I can do. ”

But as the job title changed to SAHM, it was like I burned my “get-out-of-over-committment-free card.”

As though because I was allowed to wear yoga pants every day to work than I should always have time for every single thing, every opportunity, every request.

Well I want that little card back.

For the sake of my sanity.

For the sake of my often neglected quiet time.

For the sake of my over-extended self that snaps at the people I’m here to serve in the first place.

For the sake of my enjoyment of the ministries that GOD actually has inserted into my life.

Because the mathematical truth of saying “YES” is this: Saying yes to one thing, is absolutely saying no to another. That other thing far too often becomes my family or my health.

Our fear of man looks a lot like overcommitment sometimes, but it’s often just plain idolatry.

We cannot sacrifice those things we KNOW God has given us to do on the altar of what everyone else thinks we SHOULD be doing.

No = Margin. Whether you whisper it or say it confidently, if you don’t know for certain that you should be saying yes– say No.

And then revel in the space you have when God gives you a “yes.”

Linking up with Five Minute Friday– my favorite community of writers– over here!

What I learned in August.

September 3, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 3 Comments

Happy September!!! The official month when we pretty much call summer quits and we slowly start welcoming all the pumpkin and cinnamon back into our lives. Today, I am sharing what I learned in August and linking up with Emily Freeman over at Chatting at the Sky.

August was a knowledge-heavy month for me– it was also a whirlwind of activity leaving me with an average of a little more than one post a week… so there’s that.

1. I learned the JOY that comes in being someone else’s champion. This summer I’ve been able to take part in someone else’s dream. A close friend and confidante of mine is writing an amazing book, and asked me to help. Months of emails, texts and randomly timed phone calls led us to a nearly finished manuscript and a book proposal. I read Michael Hyatt’s book on writing a book proposal and then actually wrote my first book proposal. It was scary for sure, but exciting. One day I hope to write a book proposal of my own… but until then, this was so fun. There’s something really heart-filling about being someone else’s cheerleader– especially when you don’t have to wear a polyester uniform and royal blue bloomers.

2. I learned that I do not understand the hype with Cold Brew Coffee. I am an Iced Coffee Fanatic. I really only have one coffee a day, and it is almost always iced. Usually my husband brews a pot of extra strong coffee in his Chemex* and then we chill it. I have tried the Cold-Brew method several different times and I always end up with coffee grounds galore. I recently tried the Pioneer Woman’s version, taking every careful step to be sure I wasn’t doing something wrong. I strained it a second and even a third time with the cheesecloth, and still I got this:Not to mention a huge mess. I’m just not sure it’s a better method than what we are doing… but people rave about Cold Brew Iced Coffee. Anyone have any tips? I will happily try it again.

3. I learned that heat makes people cranky. This past weekend our downstairs AC went out, the temps topped 99 and we had the added holiday to delay getting it fixed– so we spent about three days without Air Conditioning. In Georgia. In the summer. Oh. My. We really did make the best of it, and we survived. We ate ice cream as often as possible and we introduced our kids to one very important thing– Magic Shell Ice Cream Topping. They also learned the joy of sitting in front of a box fan and talking into it for hours. Ha! Some things are just awesome no matter what generation you’re born in. I learned that when the internal temperature of a home is 86 degrees, butter softens very quickly and coconut oil remains at a liquid state.

As much as those things might be culinarily convenient, when one’s home feels somewhere around the temperature of, OH, I don’t know–standing-on-the-surface-of-the-Sun Hot, one tends to notice a change in their attitude. It’s amazing how something as simple as being perpetually hot and sweaty can make you cranky– but at some point, we did notice that we ALL were in fact… ILL with one another.

But most importantly, this all taught me how I sort of… appreciate a few days of frustration and NOT having something we tend to take for granted, because it gives me a good reminder– of all the amazing blessings we live with every day. Not having Air Conditioning for three days sounds so paltry, but it caused me to realize how much we DO take for granted. And THAT is a lesson worth learning.

4. In August, we celebrated our 7th Wedding Anniversary. In seven years, we’ve shared three addresses.

Two daughters. Two states. We have shared a little more than 2, 556 days as a family.

I learned that Seven years isn’t long enough to spend with your very best friend and that I’m quite sure 67 years won’t be long enough either.

Your Turn! What did you learn in August????

Walls and Community.

August 28, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 3 Comments

In 2003, I moved away from home and into an apartment with two to three college roommates. We studied, sure– we went to class, but we lived life together. We shopped and cooked and ate together like a little family most nights. We made birthday cakes for the boys down the sidewalk in exchange for them looking out for us and our cars. We took trips to the Farmer’s Market, the Duke Gardens and the Mall.

Definitely the Mall.

We had all kinds of community. Not just because we studied Church History over Chicken Enchiladas, but because we were REAL with each other. I remember the first time one of them called me out on something I was doing. It was awkward and I did not know how to process it. But it was the love that shook me out of my pity party. She cared enough for me to risk the awkwardness. She was right at the time and now, nearly ten years later, I would do anything for either one of them.

***

When we first moved here nearly four years ago, I was happy to be a hermit. Most of my daytime words were spent on an 18 month old (who happens to be a chatterbox, now– so there you go.) and my usual Publix cashier. The experience of moving to a new city where my only “people” lived in the same 2 bedroom home was a bit shocking for this social girl.

God pushed us quite clearly into the arms of an amazing small group and it changed us completely. I wrote about the difficulty of moving and the joy of stepping out and finding that community here.

And then around the same time I wrote that in March, the landscape of our community changed again.

Our job and small group situation had to alter a bit and I found myself with a front door that wasn’t opening quite as much. More quiet. Less busyness. Less community.

And I felt it, all over again. Tentative. Wanting to Hermit-tize and just focus on what was inside these four little walls. Focus on what I knew. On what was easy and familiar.

But even in the change, even when all familiarity is taken away and we find ourselves “the new kid,” there is reason to be REAL.

The look of community may change as our circumstances change, but our need for it does not.

We were made for community. God made us to be in fellowship with each other and with Him.

When we hide inside all that is familiar in a desperate need to stay comfortable, we miss out. Period.

We miss out on the closeness. We miss out on bearing the burden. We miss out on growing in life together. We miss out on one of the main elements of our design.

Can I encourage you today? Take down a few walls. If you’re struggling, tell someone who cares for you. Admitting your need is braver than trying to handle it alone.

Instead of waking up and slapping on the “cope” face– be okay with not being okay.

And can I just say, if you think you are the only one that feels alone– you aren’t. I have been there. I have been at that conference, at that Mom’s meeting, at that playdate, at that new small group– where all I could do was habitually adjust my outfit and try not to make eye contact with anyone in hopes that someone would approach me.

We all want someone to reach out to us– sometimes the best way to find a community is to start by building it.

Open the door.

Not much has Changed. (FMF)

August 22, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 14 Comments

Seven years. That’s how long it’s been since that warm late August day. People tell me it was unbearably hot but I really can’t say that I noticed. All I remember is… everything else.

The smile on my face as the alarm went off that morning. The early morning Starbucks run and sitting in the salon chair with a stomach full of spastic butterflies. The morning hours spent with best girl friends, much makeup and even more laughter.

The hours that both flew and creeped by until 5:00PM.

Standing in an empty hallway with only my sweet Dad to steady me as we waited for our turn.

The swell of the music. The smell of the flowers. The moment of quiet. The deep breath and the opening doors and the first step.

And then it all melts into seeing your face and a beaming smile. I knew. Never had I been more sure of the next step to take.

Vows said with shaky voices and certain hearts. And everything we had known changed in a swaying lilt of “Will you?” and “Yes.”

Then we danced like the crazy kids we were and dined on stuffed mushrooms and root beer floats.

Often it feels like yesterday that we headed out together, a family, into the balmy night.

But a few things have changed in seven years and sometimes it feels like a million lifetimes ago.

Our flower girls and ring bearers are now amazing teenagers with driver’s licenses.

Our newlywed apartment is a cherished memory and the halls we now walk are beautifully littered with the effects of 2 twirling girls.

Seven Years. 84 Months. 2,555 Days. Some of them have been harder than others and every now and then I forget what it was like to be the new bride.

But looking at that girl in all that white in our wedding album, and the way she looked at him–

And looking at me looking at you as you come in the door and are met with a chorus of girls and hugs– I see her.

She’s still here. A few more laugh lines and just as many butterflies. And she still feels the exact same way and the answer is still “YES.”

You and Me. Forever. Nothing has really changed.

Celebrating 7 years of Marriage to my One and Only and Happy to Link up with my Five Minute Friday Friends!!!

** Photos captured by the amazing Casey Chappell**

My Top 10 from Declare

August 19, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 10 Comments

I could write a SERIES of posts on all the Declare Conference goodness. I could tell you every session I went to and all the amazing words that were shared. But, I usually get overwhelmed trying to summarize after a weekend like that and unfortunately stay that way for days. However, since I have successfully unpacked my suitcase, (I KNOW?!!! Breakthrough!) it’s officially time to share. No more putting it off.

My Top 10 of Declare

1. The first five hours of my time in Texas. I arrived, found my suitcase and headed out into the warmth of the Dallas sun and the hugs of this girl! Casey is an extremely gifted artist in several areas and a genuine lover of people. We ate fantastic pizza and talked for hours. It was incredibly soul-filling for me to be with such a kindred spirit and the absolute BEST way to begin the weekend. I’m holding out hope that we end up in the same state one day, or even the same coast would be nice. 🙂

2. Meeting people I “knew” from online and finding them to be every bit as lovely in real life. Right away I was bumping into faces I recognized and getting to know them better. This one. This one. This one. This one. This one. This one. This one. There are so many more and I could go on and on, but the thing you need to know about something like this– connections will be made. Stories will be shared. And you will love the community that grows.

3. My Roomies. All three of my roommates were from the area, but I’m so glad they decided to stay at the hotel, thus giving me the chance to get to know them better. Fabulous women. Each with a different story to tell– and they were transparent, real and kind. I cannot believe we neglected to get a group photo. Bummer! Check out my amazing roomies here and here… and one more fantastic friend is in the beginning stages of a fun blog idea! Can’t wait to see it, Jessica!

4. The session on Wild Obedience- Stewarding Life Well by Logan Wolfram completely rocked me. I love her heart and all that she gives as the leader of the Allume Community and this session was nothing short of a gift for me. Logan spoke about our need to be faithful and obedient in the little steps that God gives us, and the value of not viewing our calling as an ultimate goal to be reached. (And let me just say, I’m in a stage of life– where it ALL feels like little steps. ) My main takeaway is the need to follow God– little yes by little yes. Saying yes to the things that He asks of me, even when (especially when) they seem small. So thankful for this session, Logan. (P.S. want more amazing blogging conference goodness? There are still a few Allume tickets left– head here!) You will not regret it!

5. Being given the freedom to say ‘No’ and be a little foolish in the world’s eyes. Lisa-Jo Baker spoke on Wildly Foolish Obedience and the fact that obedience is not a formula with success as its’ result, but rather obedience IS success in God’s eyes. He does not desire that we are big fat successes, rather that we are faithful servants. Lisa-Jo so appropriately said, “Wild Obedience does not equal publicly awesome acts of service.” Good Stuff, ya’ll. Also, I received another copy of her book, Surprised by Motherhood* and plan to host a giveaway soon– so keep an eye out.

6. That morning that I had an important meeting and my roommate, who I had ‘met’ exactly three days prior, took me aside and prayed over me with all the care of a lifelong friend. I was completely humbled by the love and I will not forget it.

7. Meeting wonderful sponsors like CK Design Mission. Seriously. Chris and Cassandra have this heart for Amsterdam and are moving their sweet family there very soon to plant a church. They also happen to be beautifully talented artists with a print shop! Keep your eyes peeled for a giveaway of one of their pieces– gorgeous art, I tell ya!

8. The Coffee Bar. No, really. (In)Courage sponsored a beautiful coffee bar for us on Saturday afternoon and it MADE my day. But, then when does fresh coffee next to a vat of real whipped cream and bowl of chocolate curls not make my day? Never. That’s when.

9. The Variety. In just one short weekend, the Declare Conference offers such a huge range of topics applicable to a large range of bloggers. Sessions ranging from Blogging Efficiency, Waiting on God’s Timing, Writing more with Less, Affiliate Marketing, Publishing Helps, Stewarding our Lives Well, and the list goes on and on! Each time I attended a session, I wanted to be in at least one more place at that time because it was so hard to choose. Whether you are a brand new blogger or a seasoned writer– you would be blessed by this weekend.

10. The Main Focus. As much as I appreciated the variety, there was no question of what the heart of the Declare Conference was and is. It was crystal clear that the call to WILD OBEDIENCE began with the hosts and trickled down to every detail of the weekend. I came away refreshed. Overwhelmed with God’s goodness. Ready to keep writing, following and obeying– whatever that looks like today. I came home tired and with a full cup. I came home grateful and changed.