Search Results for: round up

Small & Mighty (FMF)

March 29, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 3 Comments

I can’t help it. I saw the word “Mighty” as our Five Minute Friday prompt and all I could think of is the ALL Detergent bottle in my laundry room cabinet. “Small & Mighty” it says– “One cap full cleans a whole load!”

A word like mighty and all I can think of is laundry detergent. Maybe that tells a little bit about what my days have been like lately. Lots of laundry. Lots of dirt. Lots of cleaning. Lots of cleaning it again. Not as much “sitting in quiet places” like I would like. Even the somewhat brief but still daily times of quiet have been full of to-do lists and… stuff.

And I feel tired. I feel small. But I do NOT feel mighty. I feel like I’m struggling just to do what needs to be done.

Notice a theme here? I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel.

It’s times like this– when I stop looking UP and I start looking around– that I stop really seeing. All I hear is self-doubt. Questions that sound more like accusations. Wonderings of things I can’t possibly have answers for.

And it only takes a second.

And the great deceiver slips in my thoughts undetected.

And he all but whispers, hissing in my hear. “You can’t… You aren’t… You’re just NOT…. You never will be….”

But today he “came.” he whispered a new lie. Maybe not “new” but new for me. It was a whopper too. A huge accusation of how “everything I’m ‘doing’ just might be a waste and maybe I should…..”

And I was shocked. Shocked at myself. Shocked that he would try that. Why? Because I KNOW THE TRUTH.

That no matter how I might wonder what is in the future– He knows. And He will get us there– and HE KNOWS where I am.

I know that God has placed me here. Right here. Amidst the sippy cups, the smashed goldfish and the beautiful sloppy toddler kisses on my cheek.

HE HAS PLACED ME HERE. Right here. And I love “here.” I absolutely LOVE it.

And this purpose, no matter how small I might feel… is mighty. Not because I can hold two little hands, an oversized bag and the handle of a huge umbrella while we navigate through a parking lot– but because He is MIGHTY.

And I’ll never be forgotten. Because He remembers me. He remembers where I am.

What a thrilling thought! OUR God, who is mighty to save, is with us. In our midst. Beside us.

I feel stronger, don’t you?

Honored to link up with these awesome other Five Minute Friday-ers!

Psst! Our fearless leader, Lisa Jo Baker has a FABULOUS book coming out on Tuesday– Buy it here: Surprised by Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected about Being a Mom

Oh! and because it’s pretty much the BEST book on Motherhood I’ve EVER read you can definitely expect a giveaway next week– so come back ya’ll!!!!!

Fleeting

March 26, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 8 Comments

It really does not take a genius to recognize how brief life is. But, it might just take a mother.

From the brief night’s rest we get to the amount of time it takes for a piping hot cup of coffee to grow cold before we take a third sip and then microwave it yet again– time is moving rapidly.

We see it so clearly in their clothes. Pants that swallowed them in August by early March are capri length and bordering on too tight. The bathing suits they wore last summer which still carry the scent of salt water and fresh air– will lay in the hand me down box until several summers have passed and they are needed again. Seems like a long time from now. Can’t imagine them that grown. Except that the dress little sister wears today.. quite certainly just graced the older one’s 2 year old frame… except now she’s almost five and writes her own name. I struggle to get the winter things ready to come out of their closets… and yet I feel as though I just put them in. But they have been worn. Worn well and kept little arms and legs toasty warm through many a cool day. And now it’s time to pack them up… I remove each shirt, each pair of pants and I wonder… how many times was this worn over the past several months? I wonder if they had fun while wearing them. More importantly, did they notice ME having fun WITH them then? Was I chasing them through the leaves and over the bare grassless yard– or was I watching the clock and wondering if we had stayed outside long enough, because well it’s almost time to get dinner started.

And the shoes, Oh the shoes! Two little girls sure go through a pile of shoes at an alarming rate. Their little feet which have almost too much room in a pair of boots can barely squeeze in one for more day of cool weather. I’m not nearly as concerned about the affect of all this change on our bank account as I am its affect on my heart. Oh, some days this mama’s heart wants so badly to keep them little. I want them to always be small enough to fit completely in my lap.. but already her legs grow long and lanky and almost touch the floor. I want to always be able to stick my head around the corner and see them rolling around and “dog-piling” each other and collapsing into contagious giggles… (until somebody accidentally pulls someone else’s hair– then it’s ON.) I want to remember what their little hands feel like in mine… soft and sweet and pink. It was my own mother who caused me to stop and realize how perfectly sweet their little hands still were. She made a comment about how my own hands were just that way (like five minutes ago) and it struck me– she knows. She knows the joy (and pain) of watching the minutes fly around the clock as you fold up too- little dresses that you swore you bought plenty roomy enough.

Sometimes I’m caught off guard by the rapid pace their little-ness is flying by and I feel it.

That feeling. You know the one, you get a lump in your throat.. a little extra moisture on your palms and you…panic. Maybe just a little– but it’s still anxiety. Worry if you’re doing enough. Are they learning to love God? Do they even REALLY know that I love them? Do they see me reading God’s Word half as much as they catch me reading my twitter feed?

I realize sometimes in the quiet hours of the evening. Hours of reflection, exhaustion, exhaling and regret, maybe? Just a little? A smidge of regret that maybe I spent too much time today on things that didn’t communicate that they are a precious priority. Sometimes it causes me to tip-toe into their rooms, stand by their beds– watch their little chests move up and down for a minute or two. Search their enchanting faces for traces of my tiny babies. Sometimes I find them quickly. Other times I have to search and then I see them. Not so much signs of yesterday but glimpses of tomorrow– when they will be just a tad bit older.

But God is so gracious. And He gives us an entire day at a time. What a gift! And what a responsibility. And a day is both never enough and always just the right amount of time. Time to love them. Time to tell them HE loves them. Time to for goodness sake- teach them to LOVE others. Time to take time looking into their eyes. Listening to their stories. Sitting in the middle of a kitchen floor that desperately needs to be swept just because I know they will both come running and plant their little selves on my lap. If only for a moment. For that moment (and for this one) I am happy to sit amongst the crumbs and be close enough to see the sparkle in their eyes. To read that book even though it’s the long one. To pack up those winter clothes and thank HIM for every day we have had one another. After all, we only get today. And hopefully, tomorrow.

No, Seriously. What are we doing?

March 19, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 3 Comments

Every year about this time, I look at the calendar and realize I have less than three weeks until…. Master’s Week. (Otherwise known as Spring Break around these parts.) If you are not familiar with Golf-related events, you’ve never been to the South, or you live in a hole in the ground (not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, but a hobbit hole of course.)– here’s a brief description. This year will be the 78th edition of the Master’s Golf Tournament in Augusta, Georgia. Held every year at the Augusta National Golf Club, the Master’s Tournament is one of the four major championships in Professional Golf. For years, this was about all I knew about it. I had a husband who loved the game of golf and for several years, a boss who was a great golf aficionado.

What I did not realize when we moved to Augusta more than three years ago, is that it is quite possibly the biggest deal in Augusta all year. Each year, beginning as soon as January 1, businesses and homeowners all over town begin preparations for the tournament. We have been involved the last couple of years, because we rent our house out during the tournament. It is a great opportunity for all involved, a) they get to rent an entire house for what they would pay for a hotel room for that week. b) we get to leave during all the hullabaloo and go somewhere fun (!) and 3) it gives us a yearly incentive to spring clean and spruce up our house. Win-Win!!! However. Right now, I find myself in the absolute THROES of pre-Master’s week prep. And I think I might just climb into bed with a book and forget my mile-long to-do list. But alas, I cannot. Because there are blinds and ceiling fans to be dusted. Base Boards to be wiped down. Sheets and towels to be located and freshly laundered. Closets to be tidied, cleaned out and rid of excess items. Floors to be mopped. Disney Princess Stickers to be peeled from the legs of our table. Windows to be washed. And every spare corner of this entire house to be.. put in order. I want my mommy. ( No seriously, Mom, if you’re reading this. Come quick. And bring an extra mop. ) Honestly, though it really is a WONDERFUL blessing to be able to rent our home and we are so thankful for the continued opportunity.

But in the mean time. I find myself.. overwhelmed. Overwhelmed and when I start doing “things” it only reveals more “things” that need to be done. Kinda like “If you give a mouse a cookie..” Except I’m the mouse and my cookie is a package of Mr. Clean Magic Erasers.

It’s entirely likely these days, that when Lance gets home in the afternoons– what he finds is varied and somewhat strange. One day, he found me accumulating a gargantuan pile of plastic hangers while cleaning out my closet. Hello, with all the cardigans, by the way.

Last week He came home to a spotless office desk and me– emerging from the pantry, with a somewhat crazed look in my eyes and the faint scent of Samoa’s on my breath– looking well worn and yet suspiciously calm. I really can’t be held responsible for the total state of crazy that’s going on around here. But we will PRESS ON!!

But, if any of you happen to have a Pinterest-y tip for how to simultaneously clean your entire home and keep it that way for 2 1/2 weeks while a family of four currently inhabit said house– let me know. I’m trying to not go all wacky on my two sweet littles every time they drag out the games with 2000 pieces and dump them out while I’m precariously dusting the top of a fan blade. (Hello, Mommie Dearest?!) After all– they could care less about how many rolls of paper towels and neatly folded washcloths we need– they just know we’re going to see Mickey Mouse soon! And, WAHOO we are!

But if anyone has any tips, I’ll be here digging twelve white pillowcases out of their 51-week storage spot. OH! and packing shorts for a sunny vacation while simultaneously cooking chili for dinner because it’s blasted FREEZING, I TELL YOU!!!

Crowd (FMF)

March 15, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 5 Comments

For the seventh time today, I work to clean off the counters and the kitchen table. Surely since I just did this 11 minutes ago, it should not need to be done again. But it does. They are simply crowded.

An hour ago, the warm brown table was clean and visible. It was a hand-me-over when we first moved here from family in a nearby town.

It’s not the rugged Farmhouse table I always pictured, but it met a need and it’s the color of Maple Syrup (which is good, because it’s often sticky) and we LIVE at this table. We share meals. We share our days. We share the importance of “please eat your peas!” and we share love and life and laughing. Lots of laughing.

And for my older daughter, it’s a major workspace. Hence the continuous clearing. Somehow in the last year, the little 3 1/2 year old who rarely finished a coloring sheet because “it’s too much work!” and the “I can’t stay in the lines!” has turned into a real little artist. Now knocking on Five years old, she loves many things– art is chief among them.

She cuts.

She colors.

She writes.. (She is just beginning to be able for read, so she copies words she wants to write, letter by letter.. patiently and purposefully.)

She colors some more. Markers. Crayons. Colored Pencils.

She paints with pursed lips and baby soft tendrils tucked behind her ear.

Not yet five years old– and her Creator?

He made her a little girl who loves, herself, to create.

In that way she is me. In a smaller body. With hardly any apprehension and a whole lot of assurance of who she is and what she wants to do.

She wants to create. She feels the need inside her and it brings her joy. And so she does.

And so, what’s my role in this? The cheerleader, I hope. But definitely the mama. The mama who picks up each and every sliver of paper. Each coloring sheet. Each wonky diamond shaped “kite” she has cut and colored in preparation for Spring around the corner.

Every single stray crayon and lone art project and page with her self portrait next to mine, (My hands are always drawn huge– I hope this means she always feels like I’m ever ready to hold her.)

I will clear the crowded counters to have her crowd them again with her bright ideas.

I will straighten and file stacks and stacks of papers just to find more of them in her little skipping, creating, drawing, coloring wake.

And I will remember what she teaches me about trying and trying again. And a love for what we were made to do.

Linking up with Lisa Jo Baker and my girls over at Five Minute Friday

Lessons from an Old Calendar

March 12, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 9 Comments

Sometimes in the midst of raising a child that is a bit… strong willed, I lose sight of the countless moments of joy and beauty we’ve had in the last two years with her. Frankly, I often forget in the living day to day. I forget that every moment of stubbornness, every fit pitched, every smile, every huge belly-laugh– they are all, each one, my prayers being answered.

Because we weren’t always sure we would have her and then we weren’t sure we would get to keep her…

This week while cleaning and organizing, I found an old calendar from 2011, more than two years ago. As I paged through the days and months, I saw written evidence of the journey. The journey that ultimately brought us to a delivery room on February, 9, 2012… And brings us still to today. And tomorrow.

But because I’m taking strides against hanging on to pieces of paper I do not really need, these are my stones of remembrance. This is my account of just one of the great things that God has done that fill us with joy.

***

February 2011- Lab Work. Followed by each day with a written temperature at the top.. BBT’s. If you have struggled with getting pregnant, or experienced miscarriage.. you’re familiar with these. After we lost a baby the previous fall, my doctor determined that my problem was not getting pregnant, but staying pregnant.. So he recommended a few months of taking temperatures. And of course, this was a small price to pay– so I faithfully did it.

March- More BBT’s and we moved into our house that we now call home.

April- More BBT’s and I began doing the 30-Day Shred Workout (P.S. If you’re trying to have a baby– one sure way is to start an exercise program. Ha! It’s happened to me with both my girls!)

May- More BBT’s. Negative test.

June- Two Negatives and then one week later, a positive. More Labwork. Labwork results: good.

Late June- Ultrasound reveals very low heartbeat. (After my recent miscarriage and these current ultrasound results, I was given two weeks and then told to come back. I remember the concern in that sweet older man’s face when he wrote me a prescription for progesterone, put his hand on mine, and looked into my eyes and said, “We’re going to do all that we can. If nothing happens in the next few weeks come back and we will do another ultrasound.” Hopeful enough, but not hopeful enough to give me a due date.

Two weeks. Two whole weeks of waiting, wondering, WORRYING. Every morning, I woke up expecting to feel crampy. I kept waiting. Dreading. And amidst it all, trying to just enjoy those moments I had with a baby I knew might not stay. It was quite possibly the longest two weeks of my life.

That week I wrote a few lines in my journal. I wrote to help myself feel better. To memorialize those days of waiting. Lines that affirmed that I knew my baby had a heartbeat, (though low and slow) and therefore was alive. I knew she was loved more than any baby could be loved and that her life was in God’s competent hands. I wrote,

“My heart wants so much to see you, years from now–sitting next to your sister on our front porch swing. But right now, I just desperately want to be able to hold you. I know that you will be held either by me or your God– but I’m selfish and I want to hold you for myself and first. But you should know that either way, He came and conquered death and made it something not to fear. And we don’t. But my heart still grieves a little just thinking on it. Whether we see you in 7 months, safe and warm in a soft blanket– or we see you years from now… you are loved and you are ours.”

Whoa. Heavy. But that was my heart. And after losing one baby and never once seeing it coming, I was bent on over-preparing myself to lose this sweet one.

But we didn’t. We went back two weeks later and her heart rate was perfect. She had grown considerably and everything looked to be just right. By the end of July, I celebrated my 29th birthday by feeling very pukey and looking very green with nausea. There could have been no better birthday present that year. Feeling sick and having a baby that was growing healthy was such a gift.

September, 2011- First Kicks!!!

Late September- She’s a girl!! Abigail Grace Stuckey will be born February, 2012!!!

I’ve never doubted once that God not only answered our prayers, but that He had a plan for her all along. For many, the story did not end this way– and it grieves me to think of the mama who reads this and is still waiting. Or has given up. I do not even begin to think I know how you feel or that our situations are very similar. But I do know this, I believe that even though He answered our prayers in the way that we hoped, I know HE would have sustained us either way. Even in the difficulty. But this is only one small part of our story. We do not know the future, but whenever it becomes uncertain, I want to choose to LOOK BACK and see His past Faithfulness to us.

She is one of these. She has brought us so much joy and plenty of exhaustion along the way, but this morning when I stood behind her at the kitchen sink and tried to wash bits of dried banana from between her still-babylike fingers, it struck me.

We are living surrounded by these moments of grace.

These moments that testify that our God hears and answers prayers. And even if He hadn’t, my hope and prayer is that we would still trust Him and be thankful. There is always, always, always something to be thankful for. But being that He did answer our prayers and bless us with not, one but two healthy kids– I don’t want to waste one moment not being aware of these evidences of HIS LOVE for us.

***Can I challenge you to look back? LOOK BACK at your last few years, look back at a journal, a calendar, a Facebook wall– and SEE and REMEMBER how He has ANSWERED, SUSTAINED, UPHELD. He is Good. All the time.

The Favor of Imperfection

March 5, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 2 Comments

Everybody needs an imperfect friend. Maybe even more than one.

The friend you call when the days are making you batty– and the crazy oozes out of your emotional pores only 25 seconds into the conversation.

The friend who asks how you are… already knowing. And you begin to spill it all… because you know you’re safe. Why? Because just last week you did the same for her.

Being real is way more important than having it all together. Excuse me, pretending to have it all together.

I have not always understood this. I have not always felt the freedom to be real. For years I allowed my own insecurities to keep me from opening up my home (and my heart) unless it was completely in order. And if I did open it in its’ unkempt status, I was too distracted to enjoy my company fully– noticing out of the corner of my eye a pile of smashed goldfish my harried sweeping job had neglected.

Our insecurities can wreak havoc on our vision. Not our literal vision but– the way we see things. We see a blurry picture of a half-reality, and not what God sees… not the truth. We are His image bearers. He has created us and called us good. We are called to extend the grace that we have received to others. It is difficult to do that when we do not breathe deeply. Try it. Resting in who He made you. Just take a deep breath of KNOWING your value. (If you need reminding– Look HERE) It’s TRUE. Because He says it is. The freedom found in that knowledge? It’s worth more than hopping on the scale and seeing what you want to see. It’s more valuable than having the whole world think you are successful– or even having your kids actually eat that dinner you pinned, shopped for and prepared. We MEASURE up to Him when we measure up to no one.

It’s not just freedom– it’s a deep soul-exhalation.

A breathing out of extra space. The extra space that suddenly appears when it isn’t full of everything we wish we weren’t.

Because the reality? We are imperfect. This imperfection reminds us that we need Christ. And instead of fighting to hide all that we are–that we think no one else is– perhaps we should lean harder into Him. And look around. And extend the grace to others that is so freely given us.

So, please come over. I’ll brush aside the pile of Little People figures. And there might be a small heap of Mary-Janes in varying sizes by my front door– but you are welcome here. I’ll make you an iced coffee, we’ll sit for awhile and you can tell me how you learned that matchbox cars can indeed clog a toilet and permanent marker really is somewhat washable with baby wipes. I’ll laugh and tell you how I hide in the pantry when I need to “regroup” and how I made my kids breakfast for dinner again just because it only involves the toaster. And we will breathe the extra air that imperfection affords us both.

Want a little more? Read these sweet words about Why We Really Matter

Small

February 21, 2014 by HappyGoStuckey 11 Comments

Friday is the day to take part in 5 Minute Friday over at Lisa Jo Baker’s. We are given a one- word prompt and then we write for 5 minutes straight. No editing, No second guessing. So here it is. Thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you’re here.

Small.

Go.

It’s 7,987 miles from our little neighborhood street to Cape Town, South Africa.

That is no small distance. But in just 5 days, you’re going. You’re packing up your suitcase.. complete with gifts to minister to the Mums who love the orphans. The unloved ones. But not by them, not by us. And not by our Savior. They are the LOVED ones.

You’re leaving your dear husband and your three boys and those crazy dogs and you’re going. Because you’ve been called to do this thing by a very big God.

Months back, when our morning walks brought sweating instead of shivering, you shared your heart for this very trip. We prayed. We hoped. You outlined the many mountains God would have to move to get you there.

Well, friend. He moved them. You’re going.

And though you may feel VERY small right now. You may feeling all kinds of anxious thoughts. The enemy is certainly working over time to cause you to doubt. Cause you to fear. Cause you to feel like curling up under your covers with a pint of ice cream and an entire season of Downton Abbey.

Don’t do it. Did you hear me? Don’t DO it.

Know that you are small. Indeed. But HE IS NOT. We serve a BIG God and He has called you. He has equipped you. He goes before you.

Stop and think about that for a minute. He goes before you. He orders your steps. There is nowhere you will be, no one you will see, no little arms that will ask you to pick them up and wrap like a baby monkey around your neck– that He doesn’t already know and ordain.

So go. Go, even feeling small, to this amazing adventure He has called you to. Love the least of these. Love these that the world will call small. Love them knowing that they are big to a very BIG God.

“Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

**Will you pray for my friend Amy as she takes these big steps in following God? I know she would appreciate it. **