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What I Learned in the Spring

May 31, 2017 by HappyGoStuckey 2 Comments

“Is the spring coming?” he said. “What is it like?”…

“It is the sun shining on the rain and the rain falling on the sunshine…”

― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

Here we are, already buying sunscreen en masse and shuffling the pool towels from the dryer to the pool bag and then back to the dryer again. I love the splashy, drippy, days of summer.

But before we dive in, let’s pay homage to our spring lessons, both the fun and the semi-serious. I absolutely feel as though we just shared our Winter lessons yesterday. Here’s that list if you missed it.

So here are four things I learned in the Spring–

I have become a plant lady.

I’m not sure why I waited so long to welcome house plants into our life. One day, the Nester had an instagram post about how she waters her plants. It was completely un-fancy and un-complicated and she convinced me I could do it. I finally did and I love my little plant friends. Fingers crossed for continued growth and life. (Bonus tip: HomeGoods is the place for pretty planters.)

Tomato plants should be watered at the soil level and not as much on the leaves.

I definitely did not know this. I always watered from overhead because it makes the leaves look pretty and apparently– the least amount of time the leaves can be wet, the better. Rain water is different, and is preferable to hose water. Who knew? We do enjoy summer tomatoes around here– especially in Caprese Salad. (Bonus Tip: grab a bottle of balsamic glaze for the top of your salad. yum.)

I also learned the magic bullet for keeping cut hydrangeas alive for at least a week!

An Audible narrator can make or break a listening experience, especially for a classic.

Audible is one of our favorite things, both for homeschool and for myself personally. I recently listened to Anne of Green Gables with Rachel McAdams narrating and it was simply fabulous. Then I wanted to continue with Anne of Avonlea but had to do my first ever audible return because the new narration was ruining it for me. The Anne of Avonlea narrator was not my favorite because she made Anne sound petty and whiny.

I also learned this month that I’m a bit sensitive about certain childhood heroines— like, ahem, Anne.

Other examples of great audible narrators: Shauna Niequist (Cold Tangerines,) Lauren Graham (Talking as Fast as I Can,) and of course, the entire Harry Potter audiobook series with Jim Dale (A-Mazing.)

An “I Can Try” mindset is often a good place to begin.

This spring I did two things I have never done before. Both of which, scared me a tiny bit. The first was simple, my friend Cherie asked me to bake an apple pie to highlight her floral design. Sure, I said. I can do that. Then I saw the inspiration pie and freaked out a little. Braided crust, I had never done. I even struggle with braided hair every now and then– but braided crust was completely new to me. But guess what? It turned out just fine. And, her gorgeous blooms covered a multitude of first time evidence.

The second thing was starting my own side-hustle of helping other writers with bits of social media design. I truly enjoy making gorgeous graphics to highlight beautiful words. And bonus, it helps me pay for occasional childcare so I might find a few more fringe hours to write my own words. Introducing, Happy Designs.

So, that’s fun. (And, I have space for a couple more clients this summer. If you need an image refresh on your blog, or have particular posts you would like to highlight better, send me a quick email and we can chat. )

Aren’t new things like that sometimes? A crazy potpourri of “Well, this is fun!” and “I have absolutely no business thinking I can do this.”

I’m starting to think that’s the edge of the good stuff when it comes to art and creativity. We should be slightly scared while chasing the fun. Like those first few rickety bumps up a roller coaster.

What is making you slightly scared in a fun way right now? I’d love to know.

This quarterly chance to share What We Learned with Emily Freeman is high on my list of favorite things. I would truly enjoy hearing what you learned these past few months. Feel free to comment below– or, let’s connect on Instagram.

Weekend Favorites

April 28, 2017 by HappyGoStuckey Leave a Comment

“Cozy + smell of pancakes – alarm clock = weekend” — Amy Krouse Rosenthal

Well we made it again.
Another weekend, hopefully one with a little less of whatever your week needed less of. For me it was the nagging cold that followed me around all week. I’m always thankful for the margin the weekend affords us. Margin to just be a little bit more.

But before we head off to whatever awaits, here are a few weekend favorites I compiled for us. I hope you enjoy them as much as donuts on Saturday morning.

My Favorite Places on the Web this Week:

The Long Myth of Growing Up by Hilary Yancey Hilary is telling her story of course, but in some small way, I felt as though she was telling my own. I truly LOVED this piece about being our parent’s children and growing up.

Little Known Ways to Build a Platform and Protect Your Soul by Margaret Feinberg. I especially valued this lens with which to view the world of working on the internet: “Focus on the abundance and your life will fill with gratitude.”

I have really enjoyed Instagram from the larger screen of my laptop. The pictures are huge and even more vibrant. I may not write here each day, but I’m over there nearly every day. If you’re on Instagram, I’d love to connect with you.

Currently Loving:

This quote from my daughter, Lucy (7)
“You should never criticize your own creation. It’s not cool, Mom.” (My own creation that night was spaghetti, but I think she has a point.)

Himalayan Pink Salt Lamps. Our family has made several years of memories in Blue Ridge, Georgia and the first cabin we ever stayed in had these in the bedrooms. I’ve always wanted to add a few to our own Blue House, but just recently took the plunge. And, apparently– they could have health benefits too– I just thought they were cozy and reminiscent of our Mountain time.

Homemade Bone Broth. I may not be sure about the health benefits of the chunk of pink salt on my dresser, but I do know the benefits of bone broth. This week I made some overnight in the slow cooker and um, wow. The flavor and color is fabulous. We’ve all been a bit sniffly around here lately, so I’m putting this on the repeat list.

On my bedside table:

Notes From a Blue Bike by Tsh Oxenreider
(I have Tsh’s new book, At Home in the World: Reflections on Belonging While Wandering the Globe, which just released last week– and I’m trying so hard to wait until I finish Blue Bike before jumping in. Her writing style is one of lyrical story-telling– which I enjoy.)

Well those are my favorites this week! And, I just realized this is my 500th Blog post. (Gasp.) FIVE HUNDRED?!?!? Granted, the first few, ahem, hundred posts were Wordless Wednesdays and posts filled with pictures of my children and very few words. But still, 500!

However long you’ve been here, I’m so happy you keep coming back. My hope is that you always leave refreshed with a little more hope for your journey, and with an armful of leftovers. XX, Cynthia

You may also enjoy: To the Dads Who Carry Plenty.

To the Dads Who Carry Plenty.

April 21, 2017 by HappyGoStuckey 10 Comments

Being a mother is a heavy load– we know this like we know flaked salt belongs on dark chocolate.
In the push and pull of the glorious every day-ness, we can be bone-tired before the day even begins, and it’s nice when someone notices.

In a few more weeks the foyer of Publix will be packed with potted plants, I’ll cry at the baby soap commercial at least once, and a corner of Target will explode with lavender and pink.

Because Mother’s Day is coming.

I love the homemade cards with my head drawn almost to scale and my eyes bearing exactly three eyelashes each. I even love the subtle, sweet suggestions of their own favorite restaurant.

But in all honesty, I cannot help but steel myself for the other part of Mother’s Day. The part with all the snark. The part that says, “My ankles swelled to twice the normal size THREE different times and all I got was this lousy Begonia.”
The shouty screams about the hardness of life as mom. And my own least -favorite, the attack on Dad. The sidling up of every father against the Ray Barones of the world. The guy who never remembers anything, and wins several eye-rolls a day.

Because, yeah. It’s tough to be a mother sometimes.
But if I stop long enough to peer into the living room at that man that I live with, I see it. He’s no Ray.

The tall one with the grey converse and the ability to recall song lyrics from the 80’s. He’s only been home ten minutes and already he is kicking the soccer ball with one daughter while holding the other high in his arms. Somehow he managed to make us all feel better just by being here. He’s unloading dishes and helping with dinner and mediating a lego dispute. He helps lighten the load. ALOT.

The truth is, even on a difficult day the load is lighter because he helps carry it. Joyfully, seriously, selflessly. He doesn’t walk through the door expecting to be waited on hand and foot, He walks through the door immediately giving a hand.

He loves us like it’s his job, because he knows it is.

Even now, I pause and wince. I know it is not like this for every mom. Many feel alone. Many are alone. You might feel alone, and for you I want more than a potted plant for Mothers Day. I want a housekeeper and a masseuse and take out dinner delivered to your doorstep. I want to tell you how much you matter. Because you do.

But for those of us who always have another set of shoulders to lean on when the day is longer than the Summer Solstice–
WE need to express our thanks and we need to say it now before June rolls around.

Because these men that keep us going so we can keep everything else going? They need to hear our thanks. They need to see it lived out. They need to be respected and appreciated for carrying so much of what we’re holding in our full hands.

These thoughtful guys who keep us in plenty of coffee and don’t mind folding towels at the end of the day are doing thousands of little things that add up to a lot.

So Thank You–

to the guys who drive just so we don’t have to–
to the high shelf reachers–
to the dark chocolate bringers–
to the take-out menu embracers–
to the wildlife catchers–
to the egg scramblers–
to the Saturday pancake flippers–
to the plant watering rememberers–
and the drive home because we locked ourselves out of the house (again) – guys.

Thank you to the better ironers who don’t mind that title–
and the ones who don’t laugh when we forget to switch the clothes over for the third time.
Thank you for deciding you didn’t want to wear that shirt anyway.

Thank you, bath givers– the gentle hairbrush wielding dads not overwhelmed by all these women they live with and the amount of irrational tears that accompany them.

To the ones who encourage us to take time for ourselves, and not for a Costco run.

Thank you for cherishing us as treasures and pushing us to be unbelievably strong.
Thank you for convincing us that we can do hard things. And then nudging us to do them.
To you who save money in unseen ways to filter it into helping dreams materialize, we notice. Thank you.

Thank you–
to the ones who help us balance plates of passions and interests and help us say no thank you when we can’t find the words.
For being both the stable rock and the soft place to lean. Thank you for looking like Christ in your servant leadership.

Thank you for seeing us. You remember who we were all those years ago– you remind us who that girl is and help her find her place here in this beautiful new reality. One of being both who we were then and who we are now.

To the imperfect men who love the imperfect women they share a house and love and a family with– we could not do it without you.

And we wouldn’t even want to try.

Our load might be heavy, but you make it lighter.

What I’m Loving Lately

March 4, 2017 by HappyGoStuckey Leave a Comment

To Read:

7 tips for Memorizing Scripture by Carrie Rogers

10 Ways to Keep Saying Yes 20 Years Later by Caroline TeSelle for The Art of Simple

11 Ways We Embrace Traveling with Kids by Tsh Oxenreider (Tsh is one I have learned so much from through her podcast. I’ve also recently picked up her book, Notes From a Blue Bike, for the first time and I’m not sure why I waited so long. Tsh also has a brand new book coming out next month!)

To Taste:

Strawberries!!! They are finally in from Florida and I couldn’t be happier. We always look forward to picking them locally, but it’s almost as good to get them from my home state.

This Paleo Granola is on my list to make again soon.

To Listen:

The “Pride and Prejudice” station I created on Pandora. I added in a little Downton Abbey and it seems to play this lovely mix of quiet tunes each time. We listen to this great background station often while doing school.

The Rush to Publish – How to Pace Your Career. Ann Kroeker Writing Coach Podcast. (This episode is brief; packed with hope and a healthy dose of ‘slow down there ma’am– where are you headed to so fast?’ Ann is one of my favorite mentors who doesn’t know it!)

Red Sea Road – Ellie Holcomb. This album is pure modern-day Psalmist’s poetry. It was worth the wait and we listen to it every day.

That’s all for today. I do hope that you have a restful weekend. We have a few little house projects planned for this weekend and it will be nice just to all be together at home.

May your hope be real, your coffee be strong, and your people be close.

Love, Cynthia

What I Learned (Winter Edition.)

March 1, 2017 by HappyGoStuckey 2 Comments

“She turned to the sunlight
And shook her yellow head,
And whispered to her neighbor:
“Winter is dead.”

A.A. Milne, When We Were Very Young

We only had 5 full minutes of snow in the entire winter.
Truly.
It snowed one Saturday morning while we were gathered around the little white table eating scrambled eggs and tiny biscuits with jam. The girls nearly knocked our giant dog over as they ran for coats and rain boots and charged outside before it finished. We watched from the window and drank coffee as they flew around the yard catching minuscule flakes in gloved hands.

And just as it began, it was over. They came back in with red faces and fell into their chairs to finish breakfast. Lucy took one bite, sighed and said– “Well. That was unexpected!” And that is precisely how winter was this year. Completely unexpected. Hats and scarves one day, sandals the next. Add to that the crazy coincidence that Lance and I both were able to visit South Africa during our winter and their summer and we are throughly, seasonally confused.

Spring is already dusting its yellow self all over the front porch, but before it arrives– Let’s share what we learned in winter.

I learned the word, Hygge– and what it is not.

Hygge, a Danish term which doesn’t have a direct English translation, but comes close to ‘cozy’ — is an over-all feeling of enjoyment of people rather than things; time together soaking up simple pleasures in a welcoming atmosphere. It is a gratefulness for the simple, rather than seeking to amass wealth and stuff. But if you search the #Hygge hashtag on Instagram you may think that in order to be Hygge, you need to take your little self to Target and stock up on cozy blankets, candles and socks. But it truly does not seem to be one more way for us to indulge in home and garden hedonism, but to enjoy what we already have. This book is on my to-read list though, because I find concepts like this fascinating– The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living. And yes, this will probably be one more thing that will make me want to give it ALL to Goodwill and start over with an Ikea bud vase and a small stack of books.

I tried HelloFresh and found a few fringe hours. While Lance was out of the country and I was home with the girls, I had my first HelloFresh delivery. For those few days, I found great value in having those meals planned for me. The box came with all of the ingredients, perfectly portioned and ready to go. The recipes were great and the time saving aspect was even better. We won’t do it all the time, but there are definite weeks where a meal service helps. Here’s $40- off your first delivery if you want to try it out.

South Africans are Polite.

I try not to be the annoying american that nationals roll their eyes at, really I do. But I am such a word-girl and I love to hear colloquialisms in other parts of the world. South Africans have many words that I wish we would adopt, many seem to have a strong British influence. Here are just a few I learned while there:

Shame. This an endearing term. It can mean anything from “oh, that is a shame!” “oh, how cute!”

Pavement Special. This is the affectionate term for a dog of mixed breed; a much sweeter term than mutt, isn’t it?

Just Now. Doesn’t actually mean “just now.” It can, or maybe it means in an hour… or even next week. Not even South Africans always know when “just now” is.

Braai. A Barbecue. As in, a meal consisting mostly of meat, cooked over a fire.

Lift. An elevator, definitely British influence on this one.

What I’m Watching:

Victoria. We’re not currently caught up, but it is a typical Masterpiece treasure. Jenna Coleman is lovely.

What I’m Reading:

North! Or Be Eaten. by Andrew Peterson (This is the second book in the Wingfeather Saga.)

Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls and Everything in Between by Lauren Graham (this memoir style book is a gem for any creative or lover of Lorelai and Rory. And bonus! On the audiobook, Lauren reads it herself– which makes it even better.

The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis (Chronicles of Narnia)

Just Finished:

The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis (Chronicles of Narnia, Lucy and I have been working through the Narnia series together in school, so fun. )

What I’m Cooking in the Blue House Kitchen:

This Italian Chopped Salad

Kale Caesar Salad similar to this.

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Your turn! I am always happy to hear what you have recently learned. Send me a note or tell me here in the comments or find me on Instagram.

I’m linking up with Emily Freeman for What We Learned. Hop over here and see what others have learned.

(Amazon Links do often appear. Thank you for your support.)

Finding Perspective in a South African Garden.

February 22, 2017 by HappyGoStuckey 3 Comments

We met them just miles from a turquoise sea, but everything was the same shade of muted brown here. A million tiny houses surrounded by grass-less yards and high stone walls; the only ocean we see is one of sand. Still, a smile makes its way to her eyes as she leads us behind the house and points one finger at her garden.

It’s takes up the few feet of outdoor space they call their own and we gasp to see it there. It’s beautiful and surprising, because to us– nothing else seems to grow here except trepidation.

Still, here in the middle of it all, there is headstrong green sprigging up from black dirt. Who knows where that rich soil even came from? Maybe they scrimped and saved for it. Maybe it was given as a gift. But it’s here and it’s dark, holding fast to tender roots. They’ve created an irrigation system out of emptied two-liters. Fanta and Coke- Light bottles water the green and block the fiery wind.

Lettuce, green peppers, tomatoes, and something else I don’t recognize. They’re all springing up amidst the dare that they won’t flourish.

It’s just that way here.

Culture has pushed them out beyond the boundaries. Just far enough from the ocean and its compassionate breeze. One of them tells me, “I was born here. I will die here. I’ll never leave because this is all there is.”

I might struggle to find the beauty in a dry and dusty land; a place where no one can go out after dark, where the gates are all iron and the evil often still seeps in. I strain to truly see and my eyes ache from the hardness of that life– so different from my own. So unlike my world of crisp sheets and safety and a really good immune system. Everything that comes easily for me is harder won for them.

Nevertheless the beauty is here. Once I know what I’m looking for, I see it more clearly. It is in their community. In the way they care for one another and mother together. It is their kinship that cloaks those truly related and those thrown together in a fight to thrive.

It is in their stubbornness to plant and water and see growth springing up amidst recalcitrant concrete. It is in a life that is hard but lovely in the same guttural sigh.

It is the secret delight of noticing God dot the landscape of their community with His people– strengthening them to share.

It is the reflection of hope in the eyes of one who knows the Bringer of the rains. And they celebrate the drizzle as though it were a deluge. It’s barely enough for rain boots, yet they can’t stop talking about the sprinkles of His favor falling on their cheeks.

It is here that I find my perspective as I see theirs. Gratefulness doesn’t even begin to plumb the depths of what I’m feeling as I look into countless pairs of brown eyes. I listen to their stories of hurt and heartache and loss and aloneness, and it’s all an incredible weight to hold in my soft american hands.

But we must try anyway.

We must listen twice as much as we struggle to bring anything helpful. Because all we have is hope to give. We are not the rescuers, we are the fellow rescued. And that makes a big difference, friends.

We cannot always answer why their lives are so much harder than our own. But we can tell them just how in the very image of God they have been made. We can touch them with our bare hands and share the mysteries of His love. We can extend the gospel with eyes that reflect of knowing that same luminous hope within our needy souls.

We can go and help and bless and give– and we should. We absolutely should. But at the end of the day, at the end of the trip, when we sit in an airport terminal with sore feet and weary hearts, we need the comfort that comes from knowing that God was already there, long before we came. He was there before we felt that pull, and He will be there once we’ve gone.

Until we go again.

For Those of Us Trying Not to Make It Worse.

January 27, 2017 by HappyGoStuckey 2 Comments

I’ve told you before that I’m a slow processor. But I wonder now– are you that way as well?
Do you take weeks and months to sift through big events, huge feelings, meaningful changes?

Because I’ve always felt it was okay to sift slowly– to watch the world happen around me, to stop and hear what’s going on inside me. I need to listen long before I speak up– but lately I’m not at all sure that I’m doing anything but listening.

Perhaps I don’t always share my thoughts with you– because the things are too big and I’m not sure of what I think just yet or how I can even begin to help.
I’m often worried I might be another voice that doesn’t really help.

Maybe I’m holding back too often. Maybe I’m sinking so deeply as I wrestle that I never bring those things back into the light with you. Maybe we could do a lot with those hard things if we would bring them out together. I’m more often worried that my interpretation of the world around me, might sting deeply as you grapple with the (quite different) world around you.

Because if we’re being honest, You and I– my goal is always grace.

My point is always hope, hope, hope– like a quiet metronome in the subtext of each paragraph–
Hope. Hope. Hope.
It whispers to me as I tread the rough waters of yet another day of watching people pillage one another’s peace. My head spins as I see lines being drawn, and then drawn, and drawn again– circles getting smaller and smaller.

I need the hope in this space, and I need it as I go out from here. I need the seemingly elusive balance of real love and actual truth. And, I need the biggest dose of humility drenched over top like hot fudge on ice cream.

But I know it isn’t this simple. I know this is where the water gets choppy. If we have any hope of living our hope in front of the world– we have to be able to talk about the hard things once in awhile. The things that threaten to steal away what we know as truth.

So I need you to know, that my silence isn’t always golden. Sometimes it’s fear of making things worse. But I think we need to keep trying.

After all, it is hard to share hope without the whole story, isn’t it?
And the whole story is where it gets really good.

I’d love to hear from you today– just send me an email or connect with me on instagram.

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